There is a category of people who are always late and live in a constant rush. At work, at a friendly meeting, at the hairdresser, at the train, at the theater — they cannot get anywhere on time, they have time for everything at the very last moment (or do not have time at all). How to stop being late? How to become a punctual person? In psychology, there are many valuable recommendations on this topic.
Types of late
How to stop being late? First, decide what type of late you are:
- Deadlines For this type of characteristic haste at the last moment. Such people are constantly distracted by something and do not think at all about the performance of the main tasks until there are just minutes before the hour "X". Haste, however, completely mobilizes them and forces them to act effectively. You can even say that they enjoy the bustle.
- Manufacturers. They like to perform many tasks in a short period of time. They are late not because they are scattered, but because they overestimate their capabilities. Manufacturers try to do everything at once, but in the end do not have time to do anything.
- Scattered professors. These are people who are constantly distracted from the main task. Losing their sense of time, they are always late. More to this category include forgetful people who have to return for an umbrella, for keys or to turn off the iron.
- Rationalizers. They are constantly late, but they never admit their guilt. They can always find a convincing excuse for the situation. And they convince of the correctness not only of others. They themselves sincerely believe that they could not influence the situation.
- Balovin. These are people who lack the skills of self-control. They are rather frivolous about the issue of punctuality and do not see anything reprehensible in this.
- Rebels They are consciously late in order to demonstrate their independence and "otherness". Also being late can be a way to attract attention. As a rule, women are abused.
How to understand that you are not a punctual person
Being aware of a problem is the first thing to do if you are interested in how to stop being late and start living according to a schedule. So, you should sound the alarm if such signs are characteristic of you:
- You always blame the circumstances for being late. In fact, force majeure situations that can provide a convincing excuse are extremely rare. It's all about your unwillingness or lack of interest. Think, if you were in a hurry for a million dollars, could you have something to stop or delay?
- You are selfish. In most cases, non-punctuality causes discomfort to other people. If you are constantly late, it means that you don’t care that someone loses valuable time because of you. But do you forgive the punctuality of others?
- You are overly optimistic. Hoping for a fortunate set of circumstances, you always leave the house at the last moment. You do not want to admit that something may not go according to plan.
- You do not plan. In a punctual person, each scheduled case has a deadline of up to a minute. Non-punctual people act "according to circumstances."
- You are focused on the ultimate goal. You clearly know that you need to get from point "A" to point "B". But you absolutely do not pay attention to intermediate tasks. Meanwhile, they also need detailed planning and timekeeping.
- You never look at your watch. A punctual person wants to keep time under control.
Learn to feel the time
The first and most important way to stop being late is to learn to feel time. Often, delays are caused by false temporal stereotypes. For example, once, thanks to a lucky coincidence, you got to work in 20 minutes. You start to think that this is a standard indicator, and now you will always fit into this time period. Or maybe you just do not know how to count time for this or that action? Coaches claim that this skill can be mastered in two weeks:
- Get a small handy notebook that you can always carry with you.
- In the evening, describe in detail the plan of action for tomorrow. It should be as detailed as possible and even include such routine moments as water treatments, breakfast, snack and so on.
- In front of each item, indicate the time during which you plan to cope with a particular case. Write, especially without thinking. It is important that the indicators match your objective perceptions.
- Keep track of time during the day. In front of each action, record the real time spent on its execution.
- In the evening, compare the starting and reporting figures, determine the error. Given the discrepancy received, make a new schedule for tomorrow.
- For 14 days, take notes and adjust them. During this time, you will learn how to correctly calculate the time it takes to perform a standard set of actions.
Make time reserve
The surest way to stop being late is to make a temporary supply. For example, you know for sure that under favorable conditions, the road to work takes 30 minutes. But this does not mean that luck will always accompany you. And if there is a force majeure? If you get stuck in traffic, remember that you have forgotten your documents at home, will you meet an old friend on the way, and so on? You will definitely get out of the scheduled schedule and will be late. To always arrive at your destination on time, get out at least 15 minutes earlier. Ideally, you should consider all possible obstacles and force majeure circumstances for each particular route that you regularly make.
Fill the waiting with meaning
How to stop being late? The psychology of some people is such that they do not like to wait. Indeed, how to occupy yourself if you arrive at the appointed place ahead of time? Try to think out your "leisure" in advance. So, if you get to your destination 15-20 minutes earlier, you can do the following:
- fix hair and makeup, make sure you look neat,
- snack on a chocolate bar or drink coffee in the buffet,
- read an e-book
- listen to a couple of your favorite tracks,
- chat with a friend on the phone
- draw up a daily schedule for tomorrow or a to-do list for the next week,
- look through the tape in the social network or read news resources,
- learn five to ten new foreign words,
- repeat the text of the report
- and much more interesting and useful.
Get together right
How to stop being late for work? Need to learn how to get together. How do you start your morning? Surely, barely waking up, you start to view the news feed on the Internet, go to social networks, turn on the TV or read a newspaper. STOP! First you have to wash, get dressed and have breakfast. If by the time of "readiness" you realize that you still have 10-15 minutes to go, you can take a little distraction as a reward for speed.
Learn to get enough sleep
Oddly enough, one of the most effective methods of how to stop being late is a good sleep. A sleepy person becomes lethargic and slow. He can manage to be late, even if he leaves the house with an impressive temporary supply. To be vigorous, energetic and punctual, follow these rules:
- Stay up late. Try to go to bed before midnight.
- Do not look at the night of action films or talk shows, do not listen to loud music - do not do anything that can cause strong emotions (both positive and negative). They do not contribute to falling asleep.
- Drink valerian. With regular use of a safe penny tool will help to normalize sleep.
- Read before bedtime. This occupation is great lulling.
Cook "sleigh" in the evening
How to always arrive on time, or how to stop being late? Opozduny often ask this question. But the answer is known to everyone from school — to prepare for a new day from the evening. If you have collected a portfolio in your childhood, what's stopping you from doing something like that now? From the evening to do the following:
- make a plan for the future day
- prepare clothes
- fold the bag and several times check that everything necessary is in it,
- think over the breakfast menu.
If you will be preparing for a new day from the evening, you can safely transfer the alarm clock half an hour later, because you will have time to do it anyway.
Explanation of persistent lateness
One of the reasons for the delay may be the desire of the late to attract attention. Moreover, this desire may not be realized by the person. Also, the habit of being late can be explained by the elementary lack of time in a person.
A person is late because he does not like the work he is doing or the people around him. So he comes up with all sorts of reasons to allow him to linger. It is proved that in this way he subconsciously strives to be dismissed.
For some people, getting up early in the morning is an incredible task. Therefore, they are constantly faced with the problem of being late, which can affect relationships and their own reputation.
Taking into account all the above explanations of delays, as well as the conscious and subconscious reasons for delays, absolutely every person is able to get rid of his habit of being late.
Development of punctuality. How to stop being late?
If you realize that you have no sense of time, start planning your time by the minute. To stop being late try planning your morning. For example, at work you should be at 8 am. Write down all your usual morning procedures and determine the time allotted for each. Self development week
Thanks to these calculations, you can easily calculate the time to wake up and leave the house to stop being late. While going to work or to a meeting, often look at your watch so as not to lose your sense of time.
Be sure to calculate the time spent on the way to work with the calculation of all traffic jams, delays of public transport or queues.
You will stop being late if you wake up on time
Well, if you find it hard to tear your head from the pillow, it means you did not get enough sleep. To get enough sleep, you need to go to bed for at least 12 hours. Physiologists generally advise you to go to bed at 10 pm, because it is at this time that the hormones responsible for youth, activity and good mood are produced in the human body during sleep. About a positive attitude
1. Punctual people do not blame circumstances
Being late is completely in your area of responsibility. It sounds hard, but it's true. In the modern world of obstacles and interference, something always happens. But if you want to make a sacrifice of yourself, then it doesn't matter what exactly happened. All the experts participating in my article agreed that only the person himself was to blame for his late arrival. “It’s always your responsibility to be on time,” says Kevin Cruz, a time management expert, author of the book “15 Secrets of Time Management. How successful people do it all. ” This book talks about the principles of a successful person who help manage time.
He cites as an example an interesting conversation with his former boss: “When I was very young, I once appeared at work 10 minutes later, and explained to my boss that he left home on time. But there was a terrible accident on the highway, and nothing from me it didn't depend there. He asked me: “If I told you yesterday that I would give you a million dollars for you to appear at the office at exactly 9 am, do you think an accident would delay you?” I quickly realized that if you took attention to his point of view, then I probably would have left the house much earlier or would even spend the night ozle office in the tent that night, only to reappear in time "And while no one offers to spend the night in the open air next to your office every night This scenario clearly shows that it is possible to come in time always when it really matters...
2. Punctual appreciate other people's time
Repeat after us: Being late is impolite. Consider the thesis that punctuals value other people's time in order to acknowledge that you have problems with this. “When someone makes someone wait for themselves, it's disrespectful,” explains Lizi Post, an etiquette expert. "You are broadcasting the message that everything you do is more important than what is expected of you," she says.
Kevin Cruz agrees with the expert on etiquette: “This is the same as showing the middle finger to another. Mostly, a latecomer demonstrates that his time is of the greatest value. But this is a false belief. Regardless of who you are, time is equally valuable for all.
Some researchers believe that those who are chronically late are more likely to have type B. This is a person who tends to be more relaxed. He has a more flexible perception of time. In fact, thanks to the study, it became known that in people of type B one minute lasts 77 seconds. For representatives of personality type A, one minute lasts 58 seconds. Meanwhile, according to scientists, time flies faster with age, and there is evidence for that.
Those who are chronically late are more likely to have personality type B. They have one minute for 77 seconds.
Although you cannot change overnight, Lizzie Post suggests doing the following experiment: “Try to sit for a minute without a phone and not be distracted by anything. Time then goes very slowly. That’s how the person who is waiting for someone feels! ".
3. Punctual people are far from optimistic.
We firmly believe that optimism definitely improves life. Moreover, according to scientists, optimism adds eight years of life. But this does not apply to the question of time. People who are chronically late are guided by the unusual positive situations that have happened to them in the past. "For example: they believe that the road to work takes 20 minutes, because it happened once when they left the house at 6 am. But usually these individuals leave at 8 am - at rush hour, and the road to the office takes 35 minutes , "says Laura Vanderkam, an expert on time management and author of the book" What successful people do before breakfast. " The famous writer and journalist talked with 15 successful businessmen and based on their stories she wrote a book. “In any case, such optimistic people cannot take into account the fact that the road basically takes 35 minutes of time. The reason is that they adhere to a positive type of thinking,” explains the expert.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology states that people often dismissed past experience when they tried to determine how much time they had taken. Meanwhile, the researchers evaluated the point of view of the participants in the experiment as "too optimistic."
Maybe in your life you will still encounter such unusual good situations ... Great! Appreciate them! But this should not become the norm by which you measure time. If you always go out of your way to be punctual, Vanderkam offers to do a simple test that will determine the real situation for today. "In different situations, set the timer from the beginning to the end of the process," says the time management expert. “Do this for a week to get average data. When time looks at you inexorably, it’s harder to deny true facts,” she explains. Laura Vanderkam also proposes to set aside an additional 15 minutes in reserve in order to have time to appear at the appointed time in the right place. Thus, you will be less likely to be late (for example, to work).
4. Do punctual always countdown
What is a failure formula? People who are inclined to be late, strive to plan ahead their affairs:
- they roughly estimate how long it takes to do something,
- arbitrarily choose the time to start,
- try to complete the case by the appointed time.
“When we run ahead, the future looks very foggy, especially if you are chronically late and constantly underestimate your time,” explains Post.
Thus, instead of giving yourself extra time, learn a new habit for health and time management: do subtraction. "Determine the exact time on the clock for which you must be ready, and then subtract the time it takes to complete each task from your list," the expert says.
Why is counting down the time counting considered a more efficient time-domain way? “First of all, your priorities are the deadline, to which you attach the most importance. This is what you should strive for,” says Lizi Post. "А кроме того, теперь у вас есть чёткие временные рамки: есть начало для энергичного старта и окончание работы вовремя. Таким образом, у вас более реалистичные планы", делится эксперт.
5. Пунктуальные люди делят сложную задачу на несколько частей
Одна из основных причин, почему люди опаздывают — в том, что они забывают: некоторые крупные проекты состоят из нескольких частей, причём, небольших. Instead, they simply concentrate on the ultimate big goal.
Suppose you organize a barbecue in the summer, and that matters to you. It is assumed that you will decorate the house, clean, cook ... Did you include going to the grocery store on your to-do list and take into account the long lines there on weekends? You read the time, how many minutes it takes to get together: take a shower, choose clothes, make hair and makeup?
"The hosts will tell me how they ran after the guests at the barbecue ... Because they did not take into account all the preparations for the barbecue, for example, wash and cut the vegetables, wait for the meat to marinate, wait for the floor to dry before guests can go because they mopped the floor too late, "says Post. "Regardless of whether it is a party or a working draft, make a list in advance: divide the work into several small stages. So you will know exactly what awaits you, and be able to prepare well," the expert says.
Scientists also argue that this method justifies itself. One experiment conducted by the University of Illinois (USA) showed that when people divide large projects into smaller tasks, then they better estimate how long their work will take to achieve the final goal.
When you work, focus on just one task. Research conducted by San Diego State University, says the following: if a person performs several tasks at once, he increases his chances of doing things later than the target date. The thing is that it is difficult to keep track of the time when you spray your attention in several directions. Therefore, it is important to realize what interferes with your concentration, and try to perform only one task.
6. Punctuality lovers look at their watches.
In some cases, we lose track of time, and as a result we don’t finish the case when it is necessary. For example, this happens when we get stuck at home with cleaning or immerse ourselves in photos of your girlfriend's cousin on the social networking site Facebook.
Fortunately, this is all easy to fix and keep moving forward. “If you know that you have an appointment, set the alarm 10 minutes before you leave the house,” says Vanderkam. “It will help you to be organized and act faster”, explains the expert.
Yes, it is difficult to be a punctual person, especially in our century in the conditions of megacities, but it is possible. And there are plenty of examples from people who have achieved significant success in life. We all improve every day. We praise ourselves for success, we focus on good things, we perceive mistakes as experience, we avoid sharp self-criticism, but at the same time we try to remain observant in relation to ourselves and remember the "internal clock". With such an attitude towards life and yourself, it is comfortable to develop and move on.
How to get rid of the habit of being late
Analyze the situation. Sit down and think: why are you always late, what is to blame for non-punctuality, and why do you, by all means, need to end this bad habit once and for all?
As a rule, many women are late because of the inability (or unwillingness) to properly allocate their own time. In this case, teach yourself to write down important dates and meetings in a notebook, set reminders on the phone, get ready for meetings in advance.
If you are only late for work, then get up earlier for half an hour and do not stay up late the night before. Things and cosmetics can also be prepared in the evening.
Some are late due to overuse and the need to do many things not only at home, but also on the way to work. In this case, it is necessary not to mix all the affairs in a pile and ask the household to take some of the responsibilities of the house.
Eternally late ladies you can quietly move time forward. Such a psychological trick helps even hardened punctuality violators.
Calculate the exact time you spend in the morning to get to your work office or office. In case you like to go to shops or food stalls on your way to work, then be sure to include this time in the total number of minutes it takes to get to the place. Traffic jams are also worth considering.
A regular digital timer will help develop discipline and discipline. Before you go to work or an important meeting, set a mode on it in which a beep will sound after a certain amount of time. For each case (taking a shower, breakfast, applying cosmetics), take about 20 minutes, and strictly follow the rules, trying to keep within the planned number of minutes.
After a week of such training, this timer you no longer need, because the habit of being late will be replaced by the habit of coming on time.
In order not to be late - you just have to want not to be late! Perhaps you subconsciously do not value the work that you have, or in such an extraordinary way you want to draw attention to yourself. This childishness is not welcome in an adult, sensible person. You do not want to lose your job, friends who, because of your strange habit of coming late, will soon stop calling you for a meeting?
Decide once and for all that rude and arrogant people are late. You're not like that? And when you firmly determine your life priorities, the bad habit of being late will leave you forever.
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Well, if you know the way to stop being late once and for all, and you can pull yourself together. But if you do not have enough willpower, you will have to enlist the support of loved ones. But this is not support in its usual sense, but rather a kick. Ask your family and friends to behave with you as strictly and unfriendly as possible when you deviate from the schedule or be distracted by other things. You'd be surprised, but it really works.
Put yourself in the shoes of others.
An easy way to stop being late is to put yourself in the shoes of another person. Imagine that you made someone a meeting, arrived in advance at the appointed place and look forward to it. But there is no person - 5, 10, 15, 30 minutes. Imagine well on what you think about him while waiting? Are you glad to see the opozduna when he still deigns to come? Do you want to deal with such an irresponsible and non-punctual person? Hardly. But this terrible person is you! Well, how? You are still frivolous about being late.
Soberly assess your capabilities
How to stop being late and manage your time? Learn to soberly assess their capabilities. Perhaps the reason for the constant rush lies not in your lack of punctuality, but in the fact that you take on too much. You want to be in time at once everything, but as a result you are not in time anything. It may be worth shifting some of your responsibilities to the household so that you have at least a little more time to perform the required operations. Perhaps you should not try to do everything in one day - for sure there are cases that can be postponed for several days.
In matters of tardiness and punctuality, negative motivation works much more effectively than positive one. What happens if you come to work on time? Nothing special - an ordinary work day. But for constant delays, you can get a severe reprimand or even get the dismissal. What will happen if you arrive at the station on time? Just take the train and go. And if you are late, you will lose the money spent on tickets, and will ruin the trip. What happens if you arrive at the meeting on time? Just talk to the person. But if you are late, you risk quarreling and earn a bad reputation.
A few more punctual habits
Effective methods in psychology, how to stop being late, are based on the formation of good habits. Bringing them to automatism, you will always be punctual and timely. Here are the most important and useful habits:
- Get up strictly on the alarm clock. No transfers for 5, 10 or 15 minutes - just the same you will do during the day, postponing important things. If you are objectively aware that you can lie in bed for some time, it is better to start the alarm clock later in the evening. If not, then put the alarm clock away from the bed - then you just will not be able to sleep.
- Start two alarms. One of them - on the rise, and the second - at a time when you have to leave the house.
- Do all the important things in the morning. Before lunch, a person is quite energetic. And in the afternoon fatigue begins to accumulate.
- Plan in writing. Write down everything you have to do, with an indication of the time frame. What is written on paper, consciousness perceives as something binding.
If you are tired of being non-punctual and want to learn how to stop being late for work, for the train, for a date, you definitely need to read a couple of books on time management. The most popular are such publications:
- "Time Drive: How to manage to live and work" - G. Arkhangelsky.
- "Hard time management: Take control of your life" - D. Kennedy.
- "Tomato time management: How to concentrate on one business for at least 25 minutes" - Sh. Neteberg.
- "Willpower: How to develop and strengthen" - C. McGonigal.
- “Work less, have more time. Personal Efficiency Program” - K. Gleason.
How to stop being late? Effective Tips
Set an alarm for a few minutes earlier and put it away. Such an approach will force you to get out of bed, no matter how much you want to lie a little longer.
Make it a habit to get ready for work or study from the evening. What do you need to prepare your clothes, collect a bag or lunch for tomorrow's workday? Turn such evening work fees into a habit and you will not notice how you will stop being late.
In the end, ask your friends or colleagues to be more strict with you. Agree with them to make comments to you when you are late.
The development of punctuality is a time-consuming day-to-day internal work that will require your remarkable willpower, patience and diligence. As a result, you will learn not to be late, which will cause exceptional respect and approval from others. And for external positive assessments comes the inner state of calm, confidence and self-esteem.
What type of late are you?
The first step to timeliness is self-awareness. Sit down and analyze your past and features of your character. Are you late always and everywhere or only in certain cases? What do you feel when you are late? What makes you fall behind?
Are you always late for a certain time, or is it constantly changing? A fixed time delay is indicative of some psychological obstacle. Perhaps you are afraid of idle time or want to accommodate as many cases as possible on your day (even if this is impossible physically). If you are late for 10 minutes or half an hour, the problem is mechanical. In this case, you need to work on your time management skills (time management).
Conditionally allocate 7 types of late. Most people fall into three main categories:
Deadline like the rush at the very last moment. He is excellent in urgent matters, optimized in tense situations. It is often difficult to mobilize a dedliner to work if there is no real crisis. Jumping from one to another, the deadline eliminates boredom.
To the manufacturer you need to do as much as possible in as little time as possible. Such a subject feels great joy for himself, noting the work done in the huge list of tasks. Manufacturers, as a rule, include "magical thinking" - greatly underestimate the amount of time they need to perform their tasks. They hate to spend time, so they make a detailed plan of the day so that every minute is scheduled.
Scattered professor constantly distracted. Scientists suggest that distraction of attention has a genetic basis and can vary from full-scale attention deficit to innocent oddities. A scattered professor often loses the flow of time, forgets keys and meeting arrangements at home.
Usually, people find signs and other types of late. For example, Innovator never fully admit his guilt in being late (many of us are at least half rationalizers). Minion - the one who usually lacks self-control. Freeloader, - which justifies its anxiety and low self-esteem late arrival. And finally Rebell - is late, because he wants to demonstrate to everyone his strength (Rebels are usually men).
What makes you be late?
Take a look at yourself carefully and try to figure out what really prevents you from being late. “Producers” often plan more tasks, cases, and meetings than they can do in a day (of course, unless they have a Star Wars teleporter or a time machine). They have the so-called hyperactivity syndrome, when there is a reassessment of their own ability to multitask. This happens "on the machine." It seems to you that you need to have everything, everything, before you leave the house, and suddenly new things appear unexpectedly.
Many simply feel unwilling to leave the house and suddenly they feel that they need to level the blinds, check e-mail, mend socks, stroke the cat… At the time they should be behind the door for a long time.
You can fight this by working out such a mantra: when you find yourself doing something wrong, pinch yourself or clap your hands saying: “It can wait”. Excuse "Just five minutes!" Does not relieve you from responsibility and does not issue you an interest-free loan for a while. Stop it. Throw out the idea of “now, I’ll just do it again ...” from my head. And go where you were going.
How to overcome late?
Transforming yourself from a chronic opozduna into a perfectly punctual person is not just difficult, it is a VERY difficult task. It is important that deadlines are non-negotiable, something like a promise to yourself. Start with something easily accessible, for example: do not translate an alarm clock later in the morning - never (!) - and no “well, another 5 minutes” in bed. If you are not able to perform even such a simple task, you are not ready to fight your illness of constant delays. But before you jump, do an experiment. Arrive somewhere on time. At least once. Just to understand what feelings you have with it. Remember your feelings. What do you feel: relief or anxiety? Pride or hellish boredom?
1st step: Learn to re-calculate time
Every day for two weeks you must keep a list of to-do items. First, make a detailed list of tasks and estimate how much, in your opinion, it takes time to implement each of them. For example, how much time does it take for you to wash, dress, have breakfast, get to work, go to the store, and wash the dishes. Then, performing a business from the list, you should note how much time you actually spent on it and indicate it next to your personal assessment.
Many have some temporary stereotypes that are deep-seated in the brain, but which are not realistic. If once, five years ago, you managed to miraculously get to work in 15 minutes, this does not mean that it takes 15 minutes to get to your workplace.
2nd step: Never plan to be minute by minute
Those who are late are always keen to arrive at the scene at the very last minute, without taking into account unforeseen circumstances. For example, you need to be at work by 9:00. You assume that it will take you exactly 30 minutes, so leave the house at 8:30. If you, for example, get stuck in a traffic jam or forget an umbrella at home, you will not be able to arrive at work on time. Do not take risks! Get into the habit of planning to be everywhere 15 minutes earlier.
3rd step: Take the wait
If the thought of arriving somewhere before the scheduled time scares you, think for what you can do at this time. Take a magazine or a reading room with you, call an old acquaintance with whom you have not communicated for a long time, or make a list of plans for the next week. Think about what you can do interesting and useful at this moment, and you will be motivated to arrive at the place in advance and do it.
And, finally, if you have a friend or family member who is constantly late, remember: you will not be able to take this fortress with cunning. For example, to say that there must be something by 9:00, although in fact it all starts at 10:00. In the end, the late will understand you. Scold too useless.
It is best to sit down and talk (better before you have patience), and also set the rules of the game. Agree: every time a person is late for 15 or more minutes to meet you, he pays for your dessert. If this does not help, then it will at least make your life sweeter :)