Women's Tips

Your baby


Time flies by ... It seems that your baby has recently learned to walk and talk, and now a new milestone is approaching - first class! Starting school is an unusually important event in the life of both the child and his parents. The transformation from a preschooler, who can play all day long, into an adult and responsible first-grader student, is difficult for most children. The help and support of parents during the adaptation period are the key to a positive attitude towards a new life stage - schooling. What should parents know whose children will soon become first-graders, our today's article will tell you.

Do I need to prepare a child for school?

Even for children who regularly attended kindergarten, where, it would seem, there is also a regime, collectivism is instilled and certain preparation for school is under way, entering first grade is stressful. A child may really want to learn, to dream of finding new friends, to become more adult in the eyes of parents. BUT! The emergence of many new responsibilities and change, in fact, the whole of the usual way of life - a tremendous burden on the psyche of a small person. You parents probably already forgot your feelings in the first days of school. But try to remember at least how difficult it is for us, adults, to adapt to a new workplace. A child is only 6-7 years old! And it is much more difficult. Therefore, yes, it is necessary to prepare a child for school, and first of all, morally.

How to determine the degree of readiness of the child to school?

All first graders are very different: emotionally, in terms of readiness for learning, by temperament. However, there are still general wishes for children from the teachers. And mostly they concern not specific knowledge and skills, but psychological readiness for the school of a future first-grader. Great if your child:

  • healthy, rarely sick,
  • likes to communicate with other children
  • wants to learn, is curious, diligent,
  • speaks competently and is able to state his thoughts,
  • respects adults.

These are general characteristics that would be nice to have a first grader. Read more about the level of intellectual preparation in our article. What should a future first grader know and be able to do? If you feel that a son or daughter is different from the above “portrait” (poor health, unwillingness to learn, problems with speech, etc.), you should not be upset. Absolutely different children study at school, and you just need to carefully prepare your child for school. First of all, psychologically. Otherwise, your child will have to “ripen” in the process of learning, and this can result in unnecessary stress, tears and illness of a first-grader.

The child goes to the first class: the advice of a psychologist

To help the child survive the transition to a new life with minimal “losses”, parents should provide the son or daughter with the necessary support. Psychologists advise adults in preparing for school and in its first months to adhere to the following rules:

  1. Let the family life at the beginning of the school life of your first grader will be stable . Do not plan on this time repair or relocation. Try to maintain a peaceful and friendly atmosphere in the family. The familiar world of the child and so undergoes significant changes, and changes in home life can finally knock the baby out of a rut.
  2. Keep your child's interest in new knowledge and discoveries . Choose and read books together, conduct scientific experiments, collect herbariums. Show your first grader that studying is not just fulfilling school requirements. Help your child keep his interest in the world around him, stimulate his constant study of the unknown. Do not leave the child with learning alone. You do not need to do homework for him, your task is to encourage self-reliance, showing that what is important to you is what he does, and for himself this is necessary and useful.
  3. Form a positive but realistic image of school in the child’s head . By convincing his future first-grader in advance that from September 1 an interesting life awaits him, new knowledge and friends, parents often achieve the result opposite to what they want. Positive-minded children very soon realize that school life is far from ideal, you have to get up early, do your homework, the teacher is not always happy with them. Disappointment causes apathy, sadness, loss of interest in learning. To represent the school as a kind of awesome symbol is also not worth it. Saying to the child: “In school you are not praised for this,” “You do not read well, the teacher will be displeased with you,” and the like; you cause him to have a decadent mood. Even before the start of classes, he will be sure that he will fail, and it’s not worth trying. Look for a compromise: try to tell your child realistically about what awaits him, share your own memories of learning with him. Speak about the pros and cons of study, not being too carried away by the first or second. Your goal is to inspire, but not deceive.
  4. Listen baby . This is true for parents of children of all ages. And in the transition period, when the child is just beginning its school life, active listening is especially important. Your son or daughter needs to know that you can always get support from loved ones. If a child tells you about his fears before the start of the school year or shares problems with the teacher or classmates, listen to him with due attention and advise something sensible.
  5. Praise and cheer your little first grader . Everyone, both adults and children, want to hear the words of love and support. And the 6-7-year-old man, whose life is now changing radically, needs them especially strongly. Do not focus on the small failures of the child. Emphasize what worked best for him.
  6. Try to act in concert with the class teacher. . The first teacher is a very significant and respected figure for the student. If parents allow themselves to criticize the teacher, this may cause the child to be confused, anxious and misunderstanding who to listen to.
  7. Be adequate in your requirements for the child. . Remember - your child cannot be transformed into an adult and responsible person through the mere fact of starting school attendance. Some parents drastically change their attitude towards the child, often appealing to the fact: “After all, you already go to school!”. They now want a lot from him: daily homework, long sitting in a sitting position during the day, good grades, or praise from the teacher. The discrepancy between the expectations and the real feeling of the baby (and he is only 6-7 years old!) Causes him a decrease in self-esteem, disturbing thoughts: “I am bad,” “Something is wrong with me”, “I want to play, but I can't” etc. Remember, the child has enough problems with adapting to school - do not exacerbate them with their own inadequate requirements.

What if the child is afraid to go to school?

Being afraid to go to the first class is completely normal for a child. The main reason for fear of school is the fear of the unknown: building relationships with strangers while classmates, the future teacher, a new environment. If you have noticed similar experiences of a child, tell him about the school as colorfully as possible, and even better, visit her together.

A child may just be psychologically unprepared for school. He does not understand why he should go to an unfamiliar place and fulfill some demands. For some children, psychological unpreparedness for school is detected not before, but after the start of classes. They feel that the school load is unbearable, and they begin to show negative attitudes towards learning in one way or another: they don’t want to learn, they are lazy, they often cry, they get sick. If you have doubts about the child's readiness for school life, and he is not yet 7 years old, it may be worthwhile to postpone the start of school to the next year. Confidently determine whether the child is ready for school, you will be helped by special tests or consultation of a child psychologist.

What to buy for September 1 first-grader?

Satchel - Essentials for a little schoolboy. First of all, it is necessary to choose a briefcase taking into account safety for the child’s spine: the back should be rigid, the straps wide (this will save your posture and evenly distribute the load on the back). Pay attention to the portfolios with an orthopedic back. Let your child choose for himself a beautiful schoolbag from several offered, as long as he is safe for health, comfortable and roomy.

School supplies - these are important and pleasant little things of school life. Surely the class teacher at the parent meeting before the start of class will tell you exactly what things students will need during class. Definitely need pens, pencils, sharpener, brushes, colored paper, scissors, stand for books. Writing accessories are best kept in a zipped book pouch. It allows the child to see each object and stimulates the love of order.

clothing . Each particular school decides the question of school uniform on its own. Most often, parents have the right to choose the clothes in which their child will attend classes. Usually this is at least one classic suit for a boy (jacket and trousers) or a skirt / dress for girls. Other items of clothing - shirts, turtlenecks, dresses, pants - should not be too catchy and be combined with the rest of the look. Also needed replacement shoes, in which the student will go to school. On physical culture will require sneakers / sneakers and tracksuit.

And a few more tips for parents whose children go to first grade:

  • Do not forget that knowledge is more important than ratings - and remind your child about this.
  • Do exercises in the morning together, pay special attention to exercises to strengthen the back muscles. Focus the attention of the student on how important it is not to slouch, to sit straight.
  • Watch for daytime compliance. The optimal time for a child to sleep is 21.00.
  • During the homework, arrange mobile "recess".
  • The child must walk every day for at least 30 minutes, and preferably 1-2 hours.
  • Minimize TV viewing, computer use and electronic gadgets on weekdays. Children and so long sit at their desks in a static pose.
  • Actively spend the weekend with the whole family - go out into nature, play outdoor games together, visit the pool.

We wish your children that Knowledge Day on September 1 be the beginning of a new, extraordinarily interesting life full of discoveries for them! And for the parents, the admission to the school of their beloved child will be an opportunity to once again experience the pleasant moments of the school life!

Pre-School Tips

1. Take care that the kid can run after school or just get enough sleep. Many first graders become more emotional, aggressive and tearful in the first school weeks - this is normal. Let's support, physical and emotional strokes (massage, pleasant words, praise, confidence that everything will work out, obimashki).

2. Brain lobes, which are responsible for "keeping the child in one position" (for example, at a desk with folded hands), are included in work after 7 years. But even then the kids can not be plodding for a long time, not run at recess, not to be active. If teachers do not have enough knowledge in order to give children the opportunity to defuse, even if you are at home do not scold them for the state of "top." Let after school, if they want, run, jump on a trampoline and ride a bike.

3. Also, only after 7 years, many children can feel themselves as part of the system and follow its rules, feel themselves as part of a group (we are students, classmates, children). This is another argument in favor of a seven-year school start. Therefore, many children do not react until they are personally addressed:
- Masha (Pashenka), open the notebook.

Well, if the teacher knows this, and well, if there is someone to remind him about it.

And it is important for parents to play at home at school, play with possible situations with toys and memorize the phrase: "Children, rozgornit, be caress, zoshiti (pіdruchniki, stepdrops)!"

4. If the child is the only child in the family, if he was not in the kindergarten, then he was not accustomed to the noise, the constant presence of others beside, to touches. He will be more tired and complain that he is being offended (he can regard touches of others as aggression). With such a little one, you need to play contact-bodily games more often: fight, squeeze, fight with pillows, sculpt koloboks from each other or your own bodies (fingers, cups, legs, ears and spout too). Such games allow kids to return to their borders, feel the body, reduce stress and train the body for contacts.

5. If the teacher is very different in psycho, emotional reactions, physique, voice volume from the mother and close women - the child may be afraid of her.

It is important for the child to speak - the teacher speaks loudly not because she is angry, but because she wants everyone to hear her.

And at home it is important to play noisemakers, levers and chants. It's fun to just bark at each other. Good game even for adults.

6. In order to make children easier to adapt - in the first weeks of September, arrange meetings of kids-classmates in game centers, picnics, invite potential friends to visit. The faster they get to know, the faster they will focus on their studies.

7. Every Monday, the child may be more difficult to "tear away from yourself." This also applies to kids who adapt to the kindergarten. This is called Monday syndrome. After being close to your parents, it’s difficult to go into a strange environment. On Monday morning, we wake up early, give time for hugs, slow down the pace of gathering to school, part, hugging and “inflating each other with love like balloons). And let’s give the schoolboy a piece of ourselves - mother’s bracelet with the scent of perfume.

8. At school, we make a collage of photos of the little faces of the children (well, if you are as early as possible, you can take a picture of everyone in the first lesson and immediately make such a family photo). When a child comes to class and sees himself among others, he immediately feels that he has a place and he has his own. You can simply draw the palms on the paper mants, sign the names inside each and hang them on the walls.

9. You must understand exactly that the child knows where the school toilet is, knows how to use it, knows how to ask. A lot of school neurosis associated with toilet difficulties. If the baby spends the energy to keep something, I am not in a position to receive new information.

10. For very sensitive, touchy children, especially if it is easy to make a teaser out of a surname, we come up with various nicknames that can be made from a surname. This is such a vaccination. After her not so want to be offended by obzyvalki.

11. For negativist children who are used to fixing their attention only on the bad, well, and in general for everyone - after school we ask the question: “What was good?”. If it’s difficult for a child, adults start talking at first.

Of course, then you need to talk about the bad. Especially if you notice that the baby has become too irritable or lethargic, that it plays in a "screaming teacher" or "a punished student." The kid must understand that at home he can tell everything and get support.

Our consultant -
Family psychologist Svetlana Roiz

Physical readiness

The main psychological problems may arise from a first grader due to the fact that he is not physically ready to learn. What does it mean? By 6-7 years old, the child has completed the formation of the cerebral cortex. Until it has formed, the child thinks visually and figuratively: he perceives information from the environment, analyzes it, but he does not have the function of voluntary attention.

That is, in fact, the child can not bring himself long to keep attention on a particular task. His attention happily jumps from one toy to another. And why force yourself to concentrate on the lists if they are not interested?

After the cerebral cortex is formed, the child acquires the skill of consciously focusing attention and keeping it on the object for a long time. That's when learning becomes possible.

As a rule, every mother wants her baby to go to school early. But not every child is useful early immersion in the school world. If the kid is not physically ripe for school, he will feel like a loser on the background of classmates. And nothing can do about it. Because the teacher's requirements to concentrate and sit in one place for 40 minutes are simply impossible for him.

We test and diagnose

To determine school readiness, a school psychologist or future teacher conducts a series of tests. A child is asked to make up a story based on a picture, to classify items is a check for logic. List the words just spoken for memory - a memory test. At the command of the teacher to lead a line on a leaflet in a cell: two cells to the right, one up, three to the left, etc. Within this test, the ability to navigate in space and perseverance is tested.

По идее, если ребенок прошел все тесты успешно, его зачисляют в школу. Но часто бывает, что и непрошедших малышей берут учиться – или по настоянию родителей, или просто по возрасту пора (у нас же обязательное образование!), или психолог оказался некомпетентным. In some schools, teachers recruiting lower grades are limited to interviewing - without tests.

As part of the interview, the child can behave perfectly: he speaks well, jokes, answers difficult questions. But due to the fact that a significant part of his life he communicated with adults, he could not gain basic skills - the very ability of classification, logic, memory, etc. And without tests, this is not determined.

If you have doubts, send your child to school this year or give a walk until the next, try to consult a professional independent psychologist for advice.

Experienced psychologists have a trouble-free way to diagnose a child’s physical readiness for school. If the front teeth fell out, then ready. And this is not a national sign, but a physiological fact. Baby teeth in children fall out immediately after the cerebral cortex is fully formed.

Namely, it is responsible for indicators of the child's readiness for learning: memory, attention and thinking. Also, according to the observation of psychologists, left-handers and ambidexters (people who use the same left and right hand) mature a little later than right-handers. It is usually more difficult for them to orientate in space - right-left, up-down.

Psychological factor

Even the most prepared child in the first weeks of attending school can face insurmountable obstacles for his age. Psychological rejection of the school may later be expressed in headaches, vomiting, and even bedwetting. Therefore, at first, the mother will have to keep track of the first grader’s mood as sensitively as possible. Here are the main reasons why a child may experience discomfort at school.

I want to mom!

As a rule, children who did not go to kindergarten or do not have any other experience of rotation in society, scared by the crowd of classmates. Everyone is unfamiliar. Incomprehensible. Sometimes aggressive. And nowhere to hide. Mommy!

Of course, the mother can not go to school with the child. Some particularly reverent mothers try to stand next to the class or stroll nervously at the school in order to save their baby in case of trouble.

If the classmates of your "bunny" will see him all the time with his mother, the "bunny" can become an outcast in the classroom. Instead of running after the child, it is better to negotiate with the parents of classmates and arrange a children's holiday at home. On its territory, the child will feel more confident and quickly make friends. Perhaps visiting each other over time will become a tradition.

Teacher is angry!

In this case, you will have to ask your child in detail: what exactly is manifested in the teacher's “anger”? It must be remembered that teachers in the first grade are prohibited by law to give marks - so as not to injure the psychologically weak children.

After all, for the first time in their lives, they begin to compare them, small and defenseless, to push them towards the desire to learn, to assert themselves, to fight for a place under the sun. And this process should go smoothly and carefully. The teacher can indicate to the child his successes and failures. For example, classmates show that you can do this or that task better. But in any case, do not put pressure on the child and push him with peers in the forehead: Katia can write the letter “o” exactly, but you are not given.

If a child complains that the teacher compares him with classmates, evaluates and shouts at him, then this is a reason to talk with the teacher. Of course, not to conflict, but simply to explain to the teacher that the child is uncomfortable. Most likely, the teacher will “slow down” - after all, he has to work with you for another 3 years.

The reverse is also possible: the child considers the teacher to be evil simply because the teacher is demanding. If a child has never had any authorities other than parents, he may perceive the teacher as an annoying misunderstanding. In an adult interpretation, a child’s claim to a teacher may sound like this: who are you to make me write the letter “o”?

In this case, the educational moment falls on the shoulders of the parent. We'll have to explain to the child that it is necessary to obey not only the mother, but also the teacher who wants the child only good. And, most likely, it will not be a day or two to explain this.

I'm bored!

The situation when a child comes to school is becoming more common, and he is not interested there. Because he knows everything. Because with the mother or grandmother, he did not just go through the entire alphabet, but had already read all the tales and could write a brief account of them.

If your child goes to school as if it is a penal servitude that needs to be “served”, you must ask the teacher to increase the load. It is unlikely that the teacher will want to engage with a gifted child under a special program (although this is possible), but in any case, the teacher can load the child with additional social responsibilities.

For example, ask to collect notebooks at the end of the lesson. Check the job with a neighbor on the desk. Write instead of the teacher on the blackboard the conditions of the problem. And the baby will open a new sphere of self-realization.

What is there behind the door?

If your child did not go to the kindergarten before this time and vaguely imagines what discipline and independence are, then he must be thoroughly prepared for this.

To do this, you need to talk to the child, explain what awaits him at school, tell us who the teacher is and what to listen to him. Encourage your offspring to get up every day at the same time, teach them to put the necessary things in a briefcase, and also explain that they cannot be lost.

In general, almost every child aged 6-7 years does not yet know that there is a concept of personal property. After all, at home all the toys were his, and in the kindergarten, although there were lockers, they did not close, and the toys were common, even those that were brought from home.

That is why, having entered the school, the kid may not understand why it is impossible to take a pencil from a neighbor, look into his backpack or in his jacket pocket. Most parents begin to sound the alarm and drag the child to psychologists, they say, he has signs of children's kleptomania manifest. Of course, this may be so, but most likely this is a blurred notion of what is possible and what is already impossible, the absence of a distinction between "one's own" and one's "alien."

If you do not want to listen to discontent from other parents, and also not to start this moment, since you can also go to conscious theft, then you need to talk with the child, explaining that you can only take your things without demand.

By the way, there is also such a phenomenon, when a child starts bringing home toys to school with him. This is an important moment in upbringing, and if you lead yourself correctly, it will help your child get used to school.

Everything is easily explained, a homemade toy is a small “piece of the house”, an assistant in adapting a child to new conditions and social circle. And, if you prohibit him from doing so in every way, then only aggravate the situation, the kid will continue to secretly carry toys and this can reach up to the fifth class, as well as his general adaptation to everything that happens.

But if you do not prohibit, then, most likely, by the beginning of the second grade, the child will already forget that he once needed a toy, by which time he will begin to form first friendships with the guys and toys will become unnecessary.

Too much love

If the prospect of going to school causes your baby to cry and hysterical, if he looks sad or even sick, fear of parting is to blame, and this may be the root of the problem, as well as the key to solving it.

Fear of separation is defined as unhealthy exhausting affection between the parent and the child, which deprives the latter of the ability to act independently in the absence of the father or mother. It works in the opposite direction: the parent also suffers from the oppressive inability to part with his child.

The director of the Montessori school, Sheila Linville (Sheila Linville), has repeatedly observed manifestations of fear of separation and remembers a case in which mother was both the source and the solution.

“Every morning I met guys who came to school,” says Linville. - Among them was a three-year-old Jessica, every goodbye to her mother ended in tears. It all started with her mother: she cried, and after her, the little one started to whimper. A few days later I asked Jessica why she was crying. She replied: “Miss Linville, I do this because my mother is crying. So it’s supposed that moms and kids cry when they go to school. ” I explained to my mother that Jessica was trying to meet her expectations in this way. It was difficult for a woman to accept this fact, but in the end she realized that she involuntarily forced the child to behave in this way. The next morning, everything was completely different: a happy mother was waving a hand to her daughter, and she ran to her classmates with a smile. And no more handkerchiefs! ”

Parents are often surprised that the fear of separation can catch up at any time of the school year, even if everything started out quite smoothly. Often this is the result of a break in the usual course of business, for example, after holidays and holidays or when the child was sick for several days and was sitting at home surrounded by her mother's care. Some children experience these experiences at the end of the school year, as they are sad that they will not see their friends for a long time.

Annette Mont over the years of practice has found that parents unwittingly contribute to the fear of separation, considering the child to be an extension of themselves.

There are parents who cope with everything perfectly, until the child is out of infancy, because at this time he is very dependent on them. When the baby begins to explore the world on its own, fathers and mothers experience serious difficulties in recognizing: their child no longer belongs to them.

What problems can a child face?

Of course, the most important and main problem for many children is the inability to settle in a team, find a social circle there and, preferably, stay in it for a long time, because few people like being alone.

Naturally, friendly relations do not arise immediately, but usually at the beginning of the second class, when the children have already looked at each other and identified those with whom they wanted to be friends and communicate.

At first, friendship arises purely on a “territorial basis,” the guys make friendship with those with whom they live in the same courtyard and go to school together, sit at the same school desk or know each other before school. In such a period, friendship has no boundaries by gender, boys can have quite strong friendships with girls, and vice versa. Problems against the background of "confrontation of the sexes" begin only with the third class and last up to 13-14 years.

Many problems can be solved only by discussion, and the question of proper communication is almost the first point that we need to talk with the child before school.

Indeed, at the age of 6-7 years old children are very susceptible to the opinion of their peers, and the child itself is formed as a person. That is why talk with your child in the way that at school he will have to communicate with different children, someone will like, and some will not, but everyone needs to be friendly and not to quarrel.

And do not think that all your conversations will be empty, it should be done regularly, explaining by example, over time, your offspring will have its own social circle.

In addition to communication with peers, there is one more thing: the right attitude and communication with the teacher. The child, especially the one who did not attend kindergarten, needs to be explained in an accessible way that the teacher is an important person at school who is not only necessary to be afraid, but to listen and try to understand what he is telling.

Explain what grades are and why it is so important to get high scores. Explain the moment that if the child did not understand something, he can always ask his teacher or, in case of emergency, come and ask at home.

For most children up to a certain age, there is a certain threshold, which causes fear to seem stupid, and for some people it flows into further adulthood. That is why it is so important to communicate with the child, explaining what is possible and what is not.

How to prepare?

If you have been constantly talking and educational process of the child up to this point, then the need for special training should not be. By this time, your baby is already quite ready for such a step, but are your parents ready?

Family psychologists say that the first trip of a son to school can provoke a crisis in the family, as it is often difficult for parents to release their “product” for free swimming, albeit for a while. In addition, there is always fear, and suddenly the child disappoint, because in school, unlike the kindergarten, it will already be evaluated to the fullest extent.

This is a very important moment in the upbringing of a little schoolboy, it is important to explain to him, and to clarify to himself that he should study not for mom and dad, but for himself. It is important to explain to the baby that he can always ask for help from his parents. When he fails, it is important for him to know that he will be supported, there is some transfer of responsibility.

But in a situation where parents require from the child only an excellent study, then, over time, this will grow into a great strain for the child, which he will ever throw off, having ceased to study at all.

So, we can conclude that for a comfortable and successful study of your offspring requires good working conditions, a friendly team and, of course, your continued support and attention. Consider the choice of school with great attention, make sure that the baby will be comfortable and interesting there.

The difficulties of first graders: everything is just beginning. When you need a psychologist

The second school month has begun, and it seems to many parents that the most difficult in the first grade is over. The school was chosen, they survived on September 1, the child became friends with the children, the parent meeting passed - everything seems to be alight, you can breathe a sigh of relief. But psychologists are advised to stay alert.

The start of schooling is not only learning, new acquaintances and impressions. This is a new environment and the need to adapt to new conditions of activity, which include physical, mental, emotional stress for children. To get used to the new environment, the child needs time - and this is not two weeks or even a month. Experts note that the primary adaptation to school lasts from 2 months to six months. In this case, there can be no general recipes, adaptation is a long and individual process and depends largely on:

  • personal characteristics of the child,
  • degree of readiness for school (not only intellectual, but also psychological, and physical),
  • whether the kid is socialized enough, whether he has developed cooperation skills, whether he attended kindergarten.

Signs of successful adaptation to school

The child is cheerful, calm, quickly finds friends among his classmates, speaks well of teachers and peers, fulfills his homework without tension, easily accepts the rules of school life, the new daily routine is comfortable for him (does not cry in the morning, normally falls asleep in the evening, etc.) ). The child has no fears about peers and teachers, he adequately responds to the comments of the teacher.

Signs of maladjustment

You often see a child tired, he cannot fall asleep in the evening and wakes up with difficulty in the morning. The child complains about classmates, the requirements of the teacher. It is difficult for him to meet the school requirements, he internally resists, is capricious, offended. Typically, these children have difficulty learning. Only by the end of the first half of the year with the help of the work of a teacher, a psychologist, and parents, do they adapt to the school environment.

It often happens that the external manifestations in children are the same - most often it is tearfulness, resentment, fatigue - but they have completely different reasons. And you need to deal with them individually.

Irina's mom, in a conversation with a psychologist, noted that the girl negatively responded about her classmates, negative emotions manifested themselves in the form of screams, tears, and unwillingness to go to school. As psychologists have found out later, Irina’s motor skills are not sufficiently developed, concentration and attention span are poorly developed, the girl lacks the will and effort to sit in a lesson.

In the middle of the first class, Savely's mother began to complain to the psychologist: the boy is rude, does not respond to the teacher's remarks, just a little - in tears. Conversation with the teacher made it clear that Savely is difficult for a mathematician, he finds it difficult to read and poorly remembers. Problems accumulate and accumulate, and the punishment of adults and their severity only interfere.

Quite often, parents are unknowingly. complicate life first graders that:

  • they are loaded with new circles (during the adaptation period they can lead to overloads, it’s better to leave only what the kid has known and can for a long time),
  • dramatically change family relationships (“You're big now, have to do the dishes yourself,” etc.)

How to help the child?

  • In the first weeks of training a first-grader in school, it is important to help the child believe in himself, in his strength and abilities.
  • Show interest in the school, the class in which your child is studying. Very useful baby just listen.
  • Do not criticize your baby, even if he does not write well, slowly thinks inaccurate. Criticism, especially with outsiders, will only exacerbate his problems.
  • Consider the temperament of your child during the period of adaptation to schooling. Активным детям тяжело долго сидеть на одном месте, медлительным сложно привыкать к школьному ритму.
  • Поощряйте ребенка не только за учебные успехи. Любое моральное стимулирование, слова поддержки со стороны взрослых помогают ребёнку почувствовать себя значимым в той или иной деятельности.
  • Никогда ни с кем не сравнивайте своего ребёнка — это приведет либо к повышенной гордости, либо к зависти и падению самооценки. You can only compare the new successes of your child with his previous achievements.

And remember that children's problems are not easier for adults. Conflict with a teacher or peer over emotional stress and consequences may be more severe than a conflict between an adult family member and the boss at work.

The success of adaptation in school depends on the parents, and the teachers and psychologists will help you.

Get ready in advance

The beginning of the school year is an emotional experience that requires a more thoughtful approach than simply planning to move from home to school and back. Do not wait for the evening of August 31 to help your child get used to it or turn to his experiences. Preparing for school is a long process that requires attention and energy. Mont advises parents to teach children to separate pastime with the help of role-playing games: “First, leave the child alone for half an hour, then for an hour and so on. If he knows that his mother will come for him, everything will be all right. ” To find out what your child thinks about going to school, Mont offers again a role-playing game.

Act as a teacher and ask the child what he thinks he is waiting for him at school. Then switch roles and let the kid take the initiative of the teacher. So you can find out his thoughts and correct possible errors.

Ask the child to draw the school day as he imagines it. Play school - with homework, textbooks and everything you need.

Children in their behavior are often guided by the emotions of their parents, so it is important for you to demonstrate in every way the joy of the upcoming trip to school. A nervous parent unconsciously conveys his feelings to the child, thereby coloring everything that is connected with the upcoming changes into negative tones. “The best advice I can give to families: Prepare your child for school with enthusiasm. Even if the upcoming event makes you worry, reassure your baby that he will really like everything, and new friends will completely share his feelings, explains Linville. “Convince your child that there’s nothing wrong with being separated.”

Acquaintance with the school

A trial day will help to acquaint the child with a place where he will spend many years, to ease his experiences and to inspire with the idea of ​​studying. Visit the classroom, meet with the teachers and learn their names, find out where the restrooms and the dining room are located.

Establishing a relationship with a teacher helps a child understand that in school he has a person to rely on. Parents such acquaintance helps to get rid of a fair share of experiences. If they like the teacher, these positive feelings are often reflected in the student-teacher relationship.

Arrange with the parents of future classmates a children's holiday, go with your son or daughter for school uniform and all the necessary trifles, in a word, turn the beginning of the school year into a real event. Convince the child that he will be well without you, and school is fun.

If, on the first school day, the baby is still experiencing and does not want to part with you, Annette Mont advises to give him a family photo or something with your smell, and put a note with warm words in the lunch box. The child will feel that you are there, and this will calm him down.

In parting, smile and encourage your first grader. You do not need to arrange a long send-off: he feels your nervousness and, even if he calmed down, may begin to cry. Despite all your love, in this matter is to be firm.

If the child is difficult to part with you, say that you love him, but leave as soon as the teacher takes him to class.

A positive start to the day also plays an important role in shaping the right attitude to study. It is necessary to establish a schedule that does not turn into a source of stress for either the parents or the child. “Let calm music play on the way to school in the car, turn off your phone and focus on the child completely,” advises Sheila Linville.

If your child does not like school or has trouble staying away from you, do not react too badly. Encourage him with words that at school everything will be fine. Do not push him, forcing you to make friends with classmates as quickly as possible, but rather ask what was interesting today.

Never and never cry, accompanying the child. Even if he is looking forward to a new school day, your reaction will turn it into a negative experience.

A significant influence on the ease of transition to school life has a teacher. Teachers can create a warm and friendly atmosphere for children through dating games, singing together, or reading school stories. Games help build friendships and a sense of belonging to a team. Regardless of whether the child goes to kindergarten or primary school, on the first day of school you need to pay great attention to the importance of developing the personality of the child among classmates.

Upbringing without fear

One of the urgent problems of education is the balance between the protection of the child and the over-care. Of course, it’s hard to ignore headlines about child abduction, but parents who pay too much attention to this, broadcast their anxiety to children. Moms and dads sometimes behave in such a way that the child has the impression that only near them can he be safe. Reasonable upbringing is a concern without forming a child’s confidence that he will certainly fall into some dangerous situation without you. For example, if you are worried that the child is going to spend the night away from home, invite him to call his friends over for the night, and do not repeat incessantly that you will not be able to sleep for anxiety.

Constant transmission of fear ultimately has a bad influence on the development of children. A child may suffer from depression or all sorts of phobias, classmates can tease him with a crybaby or mama's son.

It is important to provide all the conditions for the child to develop with a sense of independence and self-sufficiency. Give him more decision-making power. Parents who do not do this, thus telling the children that they are not capable of anything.

For yesterday's kindergarten students, the first day at school is a reason for pride, because now they have become quite large. Older students are just happy to meet old friends. The excitement these days is a normal, in general, state. If you make sure that the child understands the need to attend school, talk to him about his feelings and experiences and introduce new teachers and classmates, all the worries will soon disappear.

Memo for parents of first-graders

You can not:

  • Maintain the excitement of the child.
  • Talk with the teacher about what the child feels.
  • Insist that it is time to make friends.
  • To focus on negative feelings and react inadequately to them.
  • Cry, seeing the child.
  • Long stand under the window of the class.


  • Smile and cheer up the child, escorting him to school.
  • Leave if the teacher calls the children to class.
  • Putting in a lunchbox notes with words of love.
  • Encourage games with classmates.
  • Set a calm and joyful daily routine.

Elements of preparation for school:

  • Role-playing games.
  • Reading books about school.
  • Trial day and meeting with the teacher.
  • A joint shopping trip for school supplies.
  • Holiday for classmates.
  • Education in the child independence.

Is the child ready for school

Many parents ask themselves questions about how to understand if a child is ready for school and if it is not too early to give it to the first grade. The concept of “school readiness” implies a certain degree of maturity of the whole organism and nervous system to increased mental and physical stress.

Psychologists distinguish the following aspects of general school readiness: physical, intellectual, and personal. As a rule, in kindergartens, a full-time psychologist conducts a special series of tests, during which he determines the readiness of the child.

It is difficult for parents to determine this. But, as psychologists note, it is important that the child wants to go to school, understand the importance and necessity of studying, recognize the authority of adults, know how to listen carefully and carry out the tasks that are given to him.

What should a child be able to first grade

Should a first grader be able to read? This is one of the most controversial issues, in response to which even teachers do not agree. In fact, the ability to read and write when entering school is not mandatory.

According to the law “On Education in the Russian Federation” and the order of the Ministry of Education and Science, all children living in the territory assigned to the school are admitted to a general education organization. In the Altai region, a child can go to school from the age of six and a half, but no later than eight.

As a rule, by school a child must:

  • Know your name and surname, address, names of family members.
  • Know the seasons, the names of the months, the days of the week, be able to distinguish colors.
  • To be able to count groups of objects within 10.
  • To be able to increase or decrease a group of objects by a given amount (solving problems with groups of objects), to level a multitude of objects.
  • To be able to compare groups of objects - more, less or equal.
  • To be able to combine items into groups (furniture, transport, clothing, shoes, plants, animals, etc.).
  • To be able to find in the group of objects extra. For example, from the group “Clothes” remove the flower.
  • Be able to express your opinion by building a complete sentence.
  • Have a basic understanding of the world: about the professions, about objects of animate and inanimate nature, about the rules of behavior in public places.
  • Have spatial representations (right, left, up, down, under, above, from behind, from under something).
  • Be able to communicate culturally with other children.
  • Listen to elders and follow their orders.

Getting ready for September 1

Psychologists agree: it is very important to create an emotional, positive attitude in your child so that he perceives September 1 and going to school as something joyful and pleasant. That is, it is necessary to give the future first grader a sense of celebration, so that he would look forward to that day.

Most important of all, giving the child to school, to create the most comfortable conditions for him. Do not chase after prestige, success and so on, but do everything so that the first grader was comfortable. This avoids so many problems in the future.

As the psychologist told one of the centers of psychological support Eugene Skorykh, it is necessary to create a positive attitude towards learning in school. It's no secret: where it is interesting, fun, pleasant and useful, you want to walk.

“Share your pleasant impressions about your school life, interesting stories. Tell your child that he will have friends with whom he will play and communicate at recess, he will learn many new, interesting and useful things in class, ”she says.

Similar advice previously voiced in a conversation with me and another psychologist - Irina Bezgina. According to her, the support of parents is very important for the child during this period. Therefore, when we say: “You are a big, adult”, we put a new responsibility on it. A child, and so scary. It is, in principle, really large, and understands that a school is something other than a kindergarten. Therefore, in this important stage of his life, the baby must be supported.

Recall your 1st grade

Psychologists advise sharing with the child their personal experiences from school life. For example, talk about how you went to first grade. If your son or daughter has difficulty communicating and making contact with other children, you can say: when you went to the first class, it was very scary. You did not know anyone. But then they met their classmates, and made new good friends. If a child has difficulties with learning, then report “in secret”, which also did not always succeed in solving the problem or constantly made mistakes in the same word.

“We need to talk about situations by analogy with those in which the child finds himself. About how you experienced, and how to cope with it. It is important that the baby sees and understands: yes, there are difficulties, but not only him. And mum and dad were like that, and if they have an older brother or sister, then they too. These difficulties can be overcome. This is not a tragedy, not the end of the world. And a bad score doesn't mean you're bad. Everyone can get a bad mark, ”says Irina Bezgina.

Eugene Skorykh emphasizes: do not be fooled by your child - do not program him “to be an excellent student - because he is the best or a Losers, because with his behavior and inattention to be only him” A child should know that when a person learns something new, it is difficult for him and therefore he can always count on your help.

Organize your child's daily routine, workplace and workflow. For younger schoolchildren, the daily plan reduces anxiety, helps physiologically cope with the increased workload. In the morning, tell him when his lessons are over, who will come after him, and then they will be engaged. In the evening, before going to bed, remember how the day went, what was good in it.

Prepare a comfortable place for homework: the light should fall on the left side, the chair and the table should correspond to the height of the child. Teach your child to fold stationery in a specific place, determine a place for textbooks, a briefcase, removable shoes, etc. It is much easier to set rules from the very beginning than to retrain a child.

When preparing homework, the presence of a parent at first is a must! The parent is present until the child is comfortable. It will be mastered - this means, it will begin to arrange things itself, to find the necessary notebooks, textbooks, pens.

The task of the parent is to create a feeling for the child that he is able to cope with all the tasks himself. Gradually, the parent talks less and less and controls and gives the child more and more time to cope with the task. Sits nearby, looks and starts to help only when the child asks for help. When the child copes with most of the tasks himself, the parent begins to depart and leave the child alone, first for a few minutes. Gradually, the parent stops sitting with the child for lessons and leaves only control, says Eugene Skorykh.

Not the school is more important, but the teacher

According to psychologists, it is more correct to choose not a school, but a teacher. "Suck" the teacher of the child, and the child - the teacher. In elementary school, the relationship with the teacher is very important and significant.

If possible, you should find out from your friends if they have any good familiar teachers, and consult. What is important is not the teacher’s record, but can he find a common language with your child. If contact fails, it is hard for children to learn. They learn less well; their self-esteem suffers.

Reduce your fears for children

“If the parent cannot let the child go, he takes over his fears. Create a talisman that will be with the child and you, when you are not together. Teach your child safety - he should know what to do if a stranger approaches him with some kind of proposal, if he is left alone at home, and they ring the doorbell, etc., ”notes Evgeny Skorykh.

List of stationery for a first grader:

  • a diary
  • folder for notebooks
  • notebooks in a cage
  • notebooks in a slanting line
  • notebook covers
  • book covers
  • bookend
  • bookmarks
  • pencil case
  • blue paste pens
  • simple pencils
  • box sharpener
  • eraser
  • line of 15-20 cm

Accessories for labor and drawing lessons:

  • album
  • colour pencils
  • watercolor paint or gouache
  • under-water jar
  • paint brush set
  • colored paper
  • colored cardboard
  • white cardboard
  • scissors
  • PVA glue
  • glue stick
  • glue brush
  • plasticine
  • plate for modeling
  • oilcloth on the table
  • apron, protective sleeves

Choosing the right backpack

The Office of Rospotrebnadzor in the Altai Territory provides recommendations on how to choose the right backpack for the child. The ministry stressed that there are several key points to consider. This is the size, weight, anatomical shape, design, fit, strength, practicality, quality of the materials used and their safety.

The use of a satchel should not create any discomfort for the student. It should be as comfortable (ergonomic), easy and easy to use. The child should be able to put on and take off the backpack on their own, without the help of an adult. The satchel should fit the child in size, match the growth. Choose the lightest backpack possible. The weight of the knapsack without textbooks for students in grades 1-4 should not exceed 700 grams.

Fabric preferably choose durable and waterproof. The straps should be wide and soft so that they do not put pressure on the shoulders, but distribute the load evenly across the back.

Using models with an anatomical back ensures the formation of the correct posture of the child, minimizes the pressure on the spine and contributes to the correct and uniform distribution of weight. These benefits are important to this thing.

Therefore, if financial opportunities allow - it is better to purchase an orthopedic backpack. Choosing a backpack, do not forget that in addition to the above requirements, it should also be as safe as possible. Наличие на ранце светоотражающих знаков или нашивок поможет ребенку быть заметным на дороге или тротуаре в вечернее время.

При выборе ранца обязательно учитывайте пожелания ребенка. Пусть ребенок сам выберет цвет и рисунок, ведь очень важно, чтобы ваш ребенок с удовольствием носил школьный рюкзак.

Выбираем школьные принадлежности и форму

According to experts, it is necessary to make a list of necessary things. When choosing a school uniform, you need to carefully choose the size so that your child can comfortably walk, sit and move in clothes. You can pick up several items of school clothes at once, so that they can be combined.

The choice of shoes should also be approached with the utmost seriousness: his health depends on what the child wears on his feet. Recommended shoes made of genuine leather, nubuck, textiles.

The next item of expenditure is a backpack and stationery. Younger and middle-aged children are advised not to wear a backpack, but a satchel, as it keeps its shape and evenly distributes the weight of school textbooks. If you have opted for a backpack, choose it with a semi-rigid orthopedic back - this is better than a non-retaining bag. Especially seriously you need to approach to the purchase of textbooks, atlases, information materials on technical media, etc., advised in the regional Rospotrebnadzor.

Adaptation to school

“Pleasant efforts at the choice of a portfolio, beautiful notebooks, bright pens, pencils and paints, school uniforms behind. Beautiful bouquet presented to the first teacher. The festive turmoil of the first days passes, and school everyday life begins. Now it is very important for parents to become attentive observers. Watch and see what happens to the child, ”- says Eugene Skorykh.

She recommends that parents pay attention to the following points:

  1. With what mood the child goes to school, and with what returns.
  2. What he tells about the lessons, classmates and teacher.
  3. What happens to health: how tired the child is, whether complaints of headache or abdominal pain, sleep disturbances and appetite have appeared.
  4. What bad habits have appeared: gnaws on a pen or nails, intrusive movements, block in movements or, on the contrary, inhibition.
  5. What is the child's behavior: normal, there was aggression or tearfulness.

Also, parents should be interested in the teacher, how the school day goes, how much the child is active during the lesson, distracted, whether he has time to complete the tasks at a pace of the whole class.

“If you see these manifestations, it means that the period of adaptation to school is difficult and it is important to understand the reason - which causes fears and unwillingness to go to school,” the psychologist notes.

Causes of school fear

“The child is afraid of leaving his home, of being separated from you, because he is anxiously attached to you. Create a ritual of going out to school, hug a child, say that you also miss him and look forward to meeting, create a talisman of your unity that the child will have and you, pronounce the plan of his day, reduce your fear, which is passed on to the child ” - advises Eugene Skorykh.

She also notes that parents inspire an involuntary fear in their children, dramatize the problems of starting education. Therefore, tune the child and yourself to the good that will be in school, you can cope with all the difficulties, mistakes are part of the way to learn new things. Tell the child: “I’m sure you will succeed! You are a clever boy (girl). " Celebrate the slightest improvement “You wrote this letter better than everyone else. Try to write everything as well ”,“ Today you yourself sat down for lessons, I am very pleased ”...

The child is afraid not to meet the expectations of their parents. “Believe in the child, tell him more often that you love him as he is. Lower your expectations in high marks. For a child, the most important thing in school is not knowledge and assessment, but the relationship in which he is in everyday life. Remain for the child affectionate, kind, loving mom ”, - emphasizes Eugene Skorykh.

Another possible reason for fear of school is that the child has difficulty adapting in the children's team. Advice to parents: read to your child therapeutic tales about friendship, about how you can make friends with the guys. Invite classmates who live near you to visit or organize a trip to the game room.

Also, the child may experience the fear of the teacher. “A good teacher in elementary school is a teacher who loves a child, polite, affectionate, paying attention. Tell your child how you liked his teacher, that she is good. If the relationship with the teacher does not add up, you do not see the qualities of a good elementary school teacher - it is better to transfer the child to another class, ”the psychologist summarizes.

How long does school adaptation last?

According to Evgenia Skorykh, according to the degree of adaptation of children, it can be divided into three groups.

- The first group of children adapts during the first two months of study.. These children relatively quickly join the team, learn at school, make new friends. They are almost always in a good mood, they are calm, benevolent, conscientious and without visible tension fulfill all the requirements of the teacher. Sometimes they still have difficulties either in contacts with children or in relations with a teacher, since it is still difficult for them to fulfill all the requirements of the rules of behavior. But by the end of October, the difficulties of these children, as a rule, are overcome, the child is fully mastered and with the new status of the student, and with the new requirements, and with the new regime.

- The second group of children has a longer period of adaptation, the period of non-compliance of their behavior with the requirements of the school is delayed. Children can not accept a new situation of learning, communication with the teacher, children. Such students can play in the classroom, sort things out with a friend, they do not react to the teacher’s remarks or they react with tears and resentment. As a rule, these children experience difficulties in mastering the curriculum; only by the end of the first half of the year did the reactions of these children become adequate to the requirements of the school teacher.

- The third group - children, whose social and psychological adaptation is associated with significant difficulties.. They have negative forms of behavior, a sharp manifestation of negative emotions, they learn the curriculum with great difficulty. It is these children that teachers most often complain about: they “interfere” with working in the classroom.

“So, the first period of adaptation ends by the end of October, the second period by the end of December. Take a closer look at the child during these first six months of training! ”The psychologist recommends.

Successful adaptation

How to understand that the adaptation period the child passes successfully?

  1. A first grader at school likes it, he goes there with pleasure, willingly talks about his successes and failures. At the same time, he understands that the main purpose of his stay at school is teaching, and not nature excursions and not watching hamsters in a living corner.
  2. A first grader is not too tired: he is active, cheerful, curious, rarely has a cold, sleeps well, almost never complains of pain in the abdomen, head, throat.
  3. The first grader is quite independent: he changes clothes for physical education without any problems, he is confidently oriented in the school building, if necessary he will be able to ask for help from an adult.
  4. He has some classmates and you know their names.
  5. He likes his teacher and most of the teachers who lead additional subjects in the classroom.
  6. To the question: “Maybe it is better to return to kindergarten?” He decisively replies: “No!”

History from practice

And finally, we publish a story about the boy's strong fear of school. Barnaul psychologist Eugene Skorykh told her from her practice:

- Last year, in May, a boy was brought to me for a consultation, who very much resisted going to school for preparatory classes.

Everything was fine to the door of the school, when by force he was led into the classroom and left there, he was involved in the general occupation of children, was an active child, and again everything was fine. Mom was already very much afraid of crying hysterically, clutching children's hands in her clothes with a prayer not to leave and not to lead him to the class when she entered school. I needed to find the cause and eliminate it, since mother and son were at the limit of a nervous breakdown.

During the diagnostics, it turned out that the child did not attend kindergarten, and the separation from his mother caused him great anxiety. But the hysterical behavior was caused by fear. turnstile through which he had to pass.

After 6 corrective exercises, the child learned to accept the situation of separation from the mother, and after the first lesson the victory was won before the turnstile's fear.

And most importantly. Remember that, of course, the school is very important, but this is not the whole life. Help your child find out what he is interested and worried about at the moment. Ina should be hard for the bad marks. You can always fix them!

Many parents are very concerned about the question of how to properly prepare a child for school. But in fact, parents need to prepare themselves for this event, first of all, themselves. Both psychologically and morally. You need to be ready to support the child in any situation.