Women's Tips

Why men do not want to marry the woman, beloved woman, girlfriend


If some men willingly marry, then others under no circumstances wish to tie the knot, even with the ideal woman. And why men do not want to marry? And how to identify an avid bachelor?

How to understand that a man is an avid bachelor?

The main signs of an avid bachelor:

  • As a rule, avid bachelors have many interests and hobbies. And it is not surprising, because there is time for a free and not burdened man. And hobbies can be several at once. So if, for example, a strong sex representative goes to football every Saturday, attends a collectors club and goes fishing regularly, then he probably doesn’t plan to give up all this for the sake of some woman.
  • Most often, surrounded by a bachelor there are many women. This may be friends, acquaintances, former girls and so on. And surprisingly, they will all treat a man quite normally. First, bachelors are mostly able to communicate and are interesting in communication. Secondly, all these women got used to the nature of a bachelor and understand that there is nothing to be offended at him.
  • If you manage to visit the home of the bachelor, then appreciate his life. Surely he will be equipped and comfortable. Yes, this man used to live alone and learned to monitor their housing. He does not expect help from women, so he washes, cleans, strokes and cooks on his own, such duties do not seem to him difficult.
  • Rate the look of a man. No, you are unlikely to see an untidy dork. The bachelor probably learned how to take care of himself and choose clothes, but he does it like a man, sometimes casually. Most likely, the clothes will be simple, without unnecessary details and not always clean. If women immediately notice the smallest specks and defects, then men can skip them.
  • Perhaps the avid bachelor has not had a serious relationship, at least in recent times.
  • If you start a conversation about marriage or children with a bachelor, then he will most likely translate the topic, laugh it off or say directly that he does not plan to change his life. And if you ask such a man about the relationship, then he is unlikely to go into details and philosophize, because he takes them seriously.
  • Many bachelors are workaholics or careerists. Firstly, they have no one to hope for, and secondly, they have a lot of time to move up the career ladder.
  • Friends bachelor, most likely, also not married. He is simply uninteresting to him and married and has nothing to talk about.
  • Since a bachelor's relationship is not built on spiritual affinity or community of interests, but only on physical attraction, then, most likely, all of his former, present and future women are alike and have almost model appearance.

Why do bachelors remain bachelors?

Why a man does not want to marry? The reasons may be many:

  1. Unsuccessful experience. Many bachelors became such only because they once decided to tie the knot and strongly burned themselves. This is logical, because if the marriage was unsuccessful, then the man will constantly be afraid of repetition, so he no longer wants to be wrong.
  2. Mama. Often the so-called “mama's sons” become bachelors. Firstly, too caring and loving the mother of such a man is certainly very jealous of him to all the fair sex and practically does not allow them. Secondly, she must have taught her son to total and comprehensive care. And finding a woman who will take care of it in the same way is not easy to find, so mama’s sons often become lonely. Thirdly, the representatives of this category idolize their mothers and are looking for companions who look like them.
  3. Bachelors are often perfectionists. Such people strive for the ideal and do not tolerate shortcomings and shortcomings. Finding the perfect woman is not easy, because every person has their drawbacks.
  4. Fear of responsibility. Many are very scared of responsibility, and marriage, family and children often imply certain obligations. And why take on these obligations, so if everything suits?
  5. Fear of losing freedom. Men are by nature very freedom-loving, so they perceive marriage as precisely bonds, that is, obstacles or chains. Indeed, after the wedding, it will not be possible to meet often with friends, to devote all my free time to a hobby, and even less to communicate with other women.
  6. Stereotypes. There are very, very many stereotypes associated with marriage and its influence on the life of a man. One of them is the opinion that after marriage the relationship will certainly deteriorate. That is, if before the marriage, the companion was a sweet, attractive girl, then after the wedding she will certainly turn into an ugly unattractive shrew. But in fact, marriage does not change people, just over time, love falls, and the disadvantages become more noticeable. The second common stereotype is the proposition that all married men are henpecked and unlucky. Yes, it happens, but only if the marriage is unsuccessful, and the wife is an imperious and demanding woman.
  7. Financial issue. Some men believe that it is only possible to marry if there is a stable ground under your feet in the form of permanent, stable and high earnings. But many are constantly striving for more, because as wages grow, so do the needs and demands. And for this reason, the marriage is constantly postponed "in the closet."
  8. Unsuccessful marriage of parents. If a man watched his parents constantly quarrel and hate each other, he would be afraid that he would repeat the fate of his father.
  9. Inflated demands on themselves, increased self-criticism. Such a representative of the strong believes that before marriage, he must achieve a lot: to become a successful businessman, build a house, buy an expensive car, become more responsible, and so on.
  10. Failures of friends. If one or several friends made a mistake, the man will unwittingly project such errors onto himself.

How to fix it?

Almost all bachelors fall in love and change their views on life. And how to fix a man who absolutely does not want to marry?

  1. Do not limit freedom. Let your companion be sure that you are not going to encroach on the sacred.
  2. Become perfect. Take care of yourself, do not make scandals, experiment in bed.
  3. Never talk about children, marriage and family.
  4. Become a bachelor friend. Support him in everything, find common interests, communicate naturally and easily.
  5. Take care of a man, become indispensable and necessary for him. Cook, clean, wash. But do it at ease and do not change the life of a bachelor, he decides that you are serious, and that can be scary. So in no case violate personal space.
  6. Try to find out the specific reasons for reluctance to marry and unobtrusively start to eliminate them.
  7. Periodically disappear from the life of a man. Firstly, he will miss you, and secondly, he will understand that you are not in the mood for seriousness.

And remember that a bachelor is not a sentence, but a solvable problem!

The paradox of modern society: a strong woman and a weak man

Let's start with one deep reason for the reluctance of the stronger sex to bind themselves with family ties, which entailed others. The model of relations between a man and a woman was formed in ancient times and has not changed for a long time. He killed a mammoth and dragged him into a cave; she cooked meat and raised children. The times went on, the scheme remained the same: the man was the breadwinner, his beloved was the keeper of the family hearth. Sustained distribution of roles led to stability in family life. Yes, the average woman was on the second rung after her husband (we are not talking now about queens and celebrities, there were always exceptions). Yes, she had almost no rights. But to face the question: “What if a man does not want to get married?” She did not have to. In modern society, everything has changed, and the usual pattern of behavior has gone astray. The girls have become more confident, they have achieved public recognition, but men are afraid. Powerful emancipes make them feel weak, helpless. And who will like it? A new generation of men raised by such women, obedient, obedient, is already growing. However, genetic memory has not disappeared, which is why there is a deep contradiction: by nature, an aggressive leader is forced to obey a weak person. And begins to resist subconsciously, trying to establish itself as a strong alpha male. What kind of marriage can we talk about when such passions are boiling ...

Men do not marry because they want to marry, but because women want to marry. Anselmo Bucci

How to understand that a man does not want to marry

Before you worry: where is the logical conclusion of the protracted novel, you need to know about the intentions of a loved one. To understand that a man is not ready for marriage, the following signs will help:

  • he speaks unfavorably about family life in general,
  • dismissively talking about married friends
  • Considers a wedding a heavy and tedious event
  • Talking about future plans, does not mention marriage,
  • often criticizes you (perhaps unconsciously, he is looking for a reason to break off the relationship).

If only a couple of points correspond to reality, you should not worry. Perhaps the expensive one is already hiding the box with the coveted ring in the closet. But if all the signs are present, this is a reason to think.

5 reasons why a man is not ready to marry now

Unmarried representatives of the stronger sex are divided into 2 large categories:

  • not ready for marriage, but allowing it in the future,
  • categorically do not accept official relations.

Psychologists call the following reasons important for men, because of which they postpone the wedding.

He believes that he must accumulate enough funds to ensure a life partner. And this is a good approach if the dear really wants to build a life, and does not use words for excuses. And why do men marry only when they create a solid material base? So they feel confident and independent.

He wants to enjoy freedom to the fullest. To live for yourself, to break into an unexpected trip to China, to hang out with friends for the whole weekend on a fishing trip ... He understands that family life does not always involve such entertainment. And ready to accept the situation ... But later. Consider that some men value freedom too much and don’t want to change their lifestyle. They achieved success at work, got used to taking care of themselves, they have cute and funny habits (for example, drinking beer on Saturday and chopping up a computer toy before 4 in the morning), which they will not refuse. Even if you already live together. Such a common-law husband does not want to marry, but dreams of an obedient and undemanding mistress.

  1. Negative attitude to marriage.

What attitude was formed to marriage in society today? This is eloquently said by the sayings: “A good deed will not be called a marriage,” “It’s too early for a young man to marry, and it’s too late for the old one,” “He’s married once, and a century is crying.” And the wording regarding the marriage? “Tied together by marriage”, “ringed”, “twirl” - after such words a picture of a robbery rises before your eyes, and not an aerial drawing of happiness and love. And the man believes that the institution of marriage has become obsolete, and free relations are much more promising and better. However, if a woman does not agree with him, she can convince her lover, if she tries.

He decided that he would not go to the registrar before 35 years. And the point. It used to not be tormented by the question of how much a man should marry (this could happen at 18). Today, the age line has moved significantly. Unfortunately, in men and women, it does not match. Girls as early as 25 years old begin to sound the alarm, and the guys do not worry about official marriage for a long time.

Marries he would not mind. But the mere thought of a magnificent celebration, a hundred relatives (and with some, he is not even familiar), a limousine, a feast, competitions, causes him a nervous tic. Change his attitude is unlikely to succeed. And to refuse the celebration and sign in a relaxed atmosphere - you can.

All people are born free and equal in rights, but some marry later. Marcel Juando.

Why do men not want to marry?

So, your wonderful native person, reports that you do not marry. Never. And if men always spoke the truth, then the question: “Why?” Would most likely be followed by one of these answers.

  1. "I do not want responsibility."

Modern men are afraid to take responsibility for the maintenance of the family. If earlier he simply did not have the opportunity to avoid them (society stood behind him, frowned and hinted that it was already time), today it is not necessary: ​​women can take good care of themselves. But men understand that marriage is not only a wife, but also children. And during pregnancy, childbirth and maternity leave a woman needs special care. Those infantile men who are accustomed to live to the fullest do not want to provide for their wife, to mess with their children.

  1. "My parents were unhappy in marriage."

If the relationship between the parents of the man was not so hot, he most likely would not wish to marry. Especially if he has an authoritarian mother who sawed her father all his life before his eyes. He is simply afraid of repetition of the situation.

  1. "I was already married, and unsuccessfully."

Another reason for the reluctance of marriage due to bad relationships, but with his own ex-wife. If a man was happy, and the gap occurred at her initiative, he will be afraid of the repetition of pain. The situation may be reversed: the spouse before the wedding was sweet and feminine, and after the cherished painting turned into a shrew. Then he can decide that a similar transformation occurs with all women, and the only way to avoid it is not to marry.

Marriage without love is life-long penal servitude. George Sand.

  1. "We are so good, why marry?"

The surest way to the destruction of the official registration of tender feelings is a civil marriage. Why does a man not want to marry a woman? He already got everything he wanted: a warm, cozy home, care, delicious breakfasts and dinners, sex.

He just does not like. And that's all. And going to marry someday, but not you.

Do you want to get married?

So, you are waiting for an offer, but he is silent ... And I want to get married. What to do? First, decide, and you need it? Sometimes the desire to marry for a woman turns into an obsessive idea that overlaps her true aspirations. Parents hint that they want grandchildren, a happy girlfriend shows the ring on the ring finger, colleagues (safely and firmly married) sigh and pity ... Under this pressure, no wonder passionately and immediately want to get married. Be able to separate the real desires from those imposed by society. Imagine that you will live with this person for many years, he will become the father of your children, make a list of the pros and cons of marriage ... Did you change your mind? Then read the next chapter.

The family replaces everything, so before you start it, you should think what is more important to you: everything or family. Faina Ranevskaya.

Already married unbearable. How to convince a man to marry

According to psychologists, there are 3 effective ways to persuade a man to marry.

It is believed that the guy should kneel and ask for hands. Down with the stereotypes! Ask yourself: "Honey, will you become my husband?" It is better to clothe this sentence in a playful form. Perhaps the man just did not think about getting married, and all the hints passed him. And he will respond by approving that he did not think of it himself.

If you already know that he does not want to marry, talk to him. Many men love constructive dialogues, so get ready for a relaxed conversation and come up with reasonable objections to his arguments. Describe the advantages of marriage, here are some of them:

  • comfort and coziness in the house that you provide,
  • A new level in relationships that will refresh them, make them brighter,
  • quieter children - explain that it is easier for children to live with their parents, who officially registered the relationship, because this is a guarantee of stability in the family, and they will not have to answer the arrogant questions of their peers: “Why do your parents have different surnames?”
  • recognition in society - in many positions they value respectable men, and marriage is considered a sign of rationality, in the end she will help him to move up the career ladder.

Also explain that you are not going to encroach on his freedom and promise to forgive an open tube of toothpaste, which he constantly leaves on the sink. And remind that age does not spare anyone. By the way, how much does a man marry today? It is believed that it is certainly worth getting a family between 25 to 35 years.

Another way - talk heart to heart. Tell the man about feelings, about how important this marriage is to you. Perhaps frankness will help to affect the necessary strings of his soul.

What not to do:

  • make tantrums
  • to blackmail the second one almost with half,
  • intrusive and often talk about marriage,
  • to involve in the case of relatives, from his and his side, so that they would influence him,
  • try to bind to her "unplanned" pregnancy.

All this is an attempt to manipulate. Мужчина чувствует себя загнанным в угол, начинает огрызаться и может перейти к решительным действиям. Только не к тем, которые ожидает от него девушка.

Что делать, если он отказывается от семейных уз?

Все способы перепробованы, а любимый по-прежнему не горит желанием делать предложение. Остается 2 выхода. Смириться с положением дел и надеяться, что он изменит мнение. Psychologists advise in this case to let go of the situation, relax and stop worrying. And think, why do men get married? The answer is when they feel the love and respect of the second half. Give him a generous gift of them, sooner or later he wants you to be always there.

A good marriage rests on the talent for friendship. F. Nietzsche

If the situation absolutely does not suit you, put your relationship on the shelves and consider whether this man can give you what he wants. If not ... Do you need them? But do not rush to conclusions. Give yourself and yourself time to think. You can offer a man to leave for a time (if you are ready for a complete rupture of relations - this is very important). And only after make a decision.

Do men want to marry? Today, this question is often worried about girlish hearts. Psychologists assure that representatives of the stronger sex more women need care, warmth, understanding, family. But it should become for him a reliable rear, an island of comfort in the turbulent ocean of life. And if to convince, that the marriage union will be such, the man without talk will hasten to make the offer.

Popular Phobias

  • The fear of death (thanatophobia) is a phobia of a person, expressed in an obsessive one.
  • Fear of failure (athyphobia) is peculiar to each individual, but one person succeeds.
  • The fear of being alone at least once in every life was experienced by each individual. Many people understand.
  • Why men do not want to marry - psychology

    Psychological reasons why modern men do not want to marry can be due to both external objective reasons and internal unconscious components. The first thing that lays the fundamental perception of family life is an example of a parental family. If a man from childhood witnessed scandals, squabbles, fights, disrespectful attitude, or if he lived only with his mother, who did not work out her own pain and frustration, constantly negatively spoke about his father and all men in general - the idea is being formed that marriage spoils relationships and lives people. A man may unconsciously eschew the formalization of a relationship, considering this to be the cause of all the negative experiences of parents, and being guided by the reluctance to repeat.

    The next reason why men do not want to marry is the reluctance to remarry. Guess why men after a divorce do not want to marry is not difficult, because this is their own experience, and not watching others. Those. he already knows from the inside what awaits him after the registrar, and his fantasy is not drawing anything good after divorce now.

    If there is no trauma received directly from the marital experience, and the man is not going to legitimize the relationship, then the matter may be in his personal comfort. He was used to a certain schedule, state of affairs, freedom, and perhaps the fact that friends can visit him without warning at three in the morning. To let a woman into her home initially means changing her own habits, restricting freedom and rebuilding life. Not everyone is ready for this, even if it is only about moving the girl to him, and not the wedding. It is emotionally more comfortable to live on different living space, and if the work is nervous, then the strength to establish something new and highlight a woman’s shelves for cremics may simply not be enough energy.

    It should be borne in mind that men feel differently responsible, and they immediately see the official registration of relations as the need for their own housing, the ability to support themselves and several others themselves (after all, the wife is on maternity leave, and she and the women are paid less). A simple ceremony with a white dress in their eyes looks like a mortgage, sleepless nights and an increase in the burden of responsibility for a few more people. It is horrifying, especially if your own life has not yet been completely fixed.

    This reason has similar moments with the belief that you first need to achieve something and firmly "stand on your feet." Perhaps he had decided in childhood that his family would not live in a dormitory and eat empty porridge, as he had. It’s logical and objective to solve everything separately, because a lot of couples are quite happy living in the same hostel. It happens that this motive is truthful, but it also happens that they are beautifully covered by the lack of feelings for a woman until she meets the same one.

    The close environment unwittingly affects the attitude towards marriage simply by the established relations of each of the members of a person’s mini-world. So, if all friends are free, the likelihood of registering a relationship is low and possible with a lot of love or the influence of friends overpowering friends.

    Why men do not want to marry a second time?

    Why men after a divorce do not want to marry or put forward this reason as a weighty one, but which is only a cover for their unwillingness to commit their lives, depends on the reasons and course of the divorce, as well as emotional aftermath. If a man, referring to unsuccessful relationships, constantly criticizes his current woman, indicating to her that she repeats the mistakes of his past wife, then most likely the reason for not wanting to repeat negative experience is invented, and the man does not find the courage to give sincere reasons. Even if you believe, it turns out that it was he who chose a woman who looked like his past wife, but at the same time he did not want a repetition. Such a sophisticated form of masochism.

    If, indeed, the previous marriage was unsuccessful and wounded the man’s heart, then he may be wary of building a serious relationship again. After betrayal, it is hard to begin to trust, after constant reproaches - to start acting and to offer, after humiliations - to believe in your need and beauty. The wound must be prolonged, feelings, even negative ones, should lie down, otherwise past relationships will be a dark shadow in your family. And here it is worth paying tribute and to thank the man who is not in a hurry to sign, until the past is completely over.

    Men are more attached to relationships than women, so having experienced the collapse of relationships once, it takes a lot of courage and restored internal resources to be able to retry. Now, without rose-colored glasses and with full awareness, confirmed by heart “scars”, that this relationship may not be forever, that the negative experience that has already happened once again can happen there. As long as there are no such resources, or the woman beside her is not patient and sensitive enough, the man will be in deaf defense and act according to the restrictive but retaining principle that if no one is close, then no one will hurt.

    Why men do not want to marry a woman with a child?

    Not every man’s refusal to marry a wedding is motivated by the presence of a woman’s children, if you look deeper into the situation, you may discover various details that fundamentally change the perception of human behavior. If initially the man knew about the child and did not stop the attempts of rapprochement, then it is possible that the proposal on living together will come a little later than the woman expects. Another story, if people are in the process of dating, and such news is always a surprise, shock and confusion - it is unimportant that the woman reported the news as soon as possible, tried to pick up words and a moment, making everything delicate or brought down the information suddenly.

    If a woman has delayed with such news, then the man’s refusal is not that to marry, but in general from the relationship is fully explained by his bewilderment and anger for concealing such important information. It is likely that he made plans for a joint future, desires became more serious and joint dreams, but this all became irrelevant. Not because a man is an ardent opponent of children or hates this particular one, no. It’s just that now everything that he dreamed, planned and cherished, will have to be changed or canceled - these are spiritual strengths and disappointments. Confidence immediately falls to zero, because if she hid her own child for a long time, she wondered what other surprises could be found out, and how she was going to build a family that motivated her behavior. From this point on, the most favorable development of a joint future may be to start a relationship from scratch, acquaintance with the inclusion of a child. If a woman (because of fear, unwillingness to lose a loved one, following other people's advice, etc.) did not immediately present her maternal role, but the man remained - this indicates the seriousness and depth of his feelings for this woman. Perhaps he later marries as soon as he moves away from the shock.

    If the woman immediately informed the man that she had a child, usually, the man disappears immediately. Feelings have not yet had time to get stronger, there is no strong connection and there is no serious experience of a break. When a man decides to continue communication, it is not necessary to compare the course of this relationship with those that were before the presence of children. There, two free people could get married in a week, roll off on a journey, abandoning everything, surrender to emotions. Now comes a greater understanding of responsibility, attention does not go on how she dances, but he plays maracas, but on whether you can rely on a person, how he acts with others, than he lives. Now, in order to run to the registry office, it’s not enough to win the heart of a woman; now a man needs to make friends with her child. The process of gaining trust in a child who has lost a father can be long and difficult. A man who respects himself and his companion will not marry earlier than establish a good relationship with the child of the woman he loves. As a young girl for marriage is blessed by her parents, so a mother should bless her children for marriage with a man.

    But the reason for the man’s reluctance to marry can be related to the character of the woman herself, who, during her independent life, has learned to solve many problems, has become tougher and more calculating, relies on herself and does not trust the world. Of course, these qualities helped her survive, but the man wants to be a getter, wants his opinion to be listened to and need his help. When he is given orders from the section “buy milk, while I kill this shelf”, the man becomes emotionally in a childlike position and feels sons and feelings for the woman, and does not marry the mothers.

    Therefore, before deciding to explain everything in a simplified way, where the lack of desire to marry is determined by the child, a woman should think about her influence on such an attitude. Someone will be helped by a friend to look at everything, a man will tell someone himself, someone will go deep into the forums or go to a psychologist for a consultation. In order to be together, efforts must be made to both, and not to hide behind a child.


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