Women's Tips

What is passive aggression and where does it lead


Sabotage, silence games, manipulations and provocations. In general, friends of our dreams!


A passive-aggressive interlocutor, a colleague or, God forbid, a life partner is not an easy test. He will never tell you directly that something is wrong, but will torment you long and slowly, in the spirit of "My dear, good, guess yourself." How, you have not yet learned to read his thoughts? Well, yes, of course, he knew that nobody cares what he feels.

Passive-aggressive behavior (or passive aggression) is a behavior that suppresses anger. There is a passive resistance to negative remarks of the opponent, in which, meanwhile, it turns out to achieve the goals set by the person using this behavior.

The main feature of the passive aggressor - the suppression of anger. He has a lot of resentment, anger, aggression, but he does not know how and is afraid to express negative emotions. Such people never say directly what they want, what they don’t want, what they don’t like and what they are not happy with. Instead, they subtly escape from the conflict, torment you with omissions, waiting for you to guess what they are offended. For the time being, such a character can seem like a good partner: he doesn’t swear, he doesn’t yell, he agrees with you in everything - yes, a godsend! But the secret always becomes apparent, and the relationship turns into a nightmare. However, a passive-aggressive relative (especially a senior), a colleague or girlfriend is also one more present. But why are we all about others - maybe some of these points and about you?

1. They don't say no

Directly, in person, to say that he does not like something, that he does not want and will not do this, oh no, he will never decide on such a passive aggressor. He leaves his head, agrees with everything, but will not. "Forget" about the deadline, "do not have time" to reserve a table in the restaurant, which really just did not want, and even break his leg on the way - just not to go with you to the theater.

2. They sabotage

If at work the passive aggressor was given a task that he does not like or in which he feels incompetent, he will not admit it directly, but sabotage and pull to the last. Instead of honestly saying, “I have problems with this project, I need help,” they indulge in procrastination and do their best to demonstrate maximum inefficiency - in the hope that everything will somehow be solved by itself and the task will be given to someone else.

3. They avoid direct confrontation.

Even feeling wounded to the depths of the soul, the passive aggressor will not say this directly, but will send confused messages that should show you how heartless and cruel you are. If such a person is your close one, then you constantly hear from him something like: “Of course, of course, act as you see fit, why should you worry about what I feel. "

4. They suppress anger

In their picture of the world any disagreement, discontent, anger or resentment is better to sweep under the carpet, and not to endure. More than anything, these people fear open conflict. This is often the case with those who, from childhood, were scolded for any manifestations of feelings, as well as with those who grew up in a very emotionally unstable family, where the mother and father constantly cursed, or even attacked each other with their fists. Such a child grows up with the feeling that anger is a terrible uncontrollable force, that it is ugly and unbearably shameful, therefore emotions must be restrained and suppressed. It seems to him that if he gives negative experiences even a little bit of freedom, a monster will burst out - all the anger and hatred that he has saved for years, will spill out and burn all life around.

5. They do not admit that they actually feel.

It is clear that, believing in such a terrible force of negative emotions, the passive aggressor does not want to show them - it is better to hide them than to destroy a good relationship (or to seem angry). In a pair, the passive aggressor will never say the first that something is wrong. If you ask him what happened and why he is not happy, he replies: "Nothing," "Everything is fine," "I am fine." But his voice per kilometer demonstrates that everything is completely wrong and not perfect. You are trying to figure it out, talk heart to heart - it was not there: deaf, like in a tank.

6. They play silent

Angry, such a partner does not explode, but closes in and goes into a perimeter defense. The passive aggressor may be silent for hours, days, weeks. Does not answer your questions, refuses to dialogue. This is such a way of punishment: this is how you will find out that you did something wrong, something that offended him. What exactly? Where did you make the fatal mistake? What was your incorrigible fault? Look what you want - so everyone can! Oh no, in this club sophisticated torture will not tell you and will not explain - guess yourself. Strike, think, remember every word. Punished? What better to beat you? No, do not wait!

7. They provoke you to anger.

And the departure from the open adult dialogue, and the game of silence, and the favorite “Do as you know, you do not care anyway. "- all this sooner or later brings you to a white-hot, and you start yelling. Yeah, got caught! The passive-aggressive interlocutor sought precisely this from you (most likely, unconsciously - at least something to justify it). He himself is afraid of expressing anger, so he passes this honorable function to you: now he can be considered, with good reason, to be bad, angry, unrestrained. Actually, he thought so. Well, of course, he expected nothing else from you. He, of course, hoped that you were not like everyone else, but how naive he could have been dreaming of such a miracle. In general, having provoked you into a fit of hellish rage, it will go through your self-esteem in full, and receive another confirmation for yourself: anger is a terrible uncontrollable element, it must be restrained with all forces, and it’s impossible to build relationships with people openly and sincerely .

8. They manipulate

Passive aggressors constantly put pressure on two favorite buttons: pity and guilt. To say straightforwardly what they want is about as unrealistic for them as saying no. And if they need something, they go in complex roundabout ways. Instead of just asking you to help carry a heavy box, such a relative or neighbor will remember all of his medical diagnoses, will make heavy moans and whine that last time under such circumstances he had a pinch of a hernia, a heart attack and hemorrhoids.

9. They do nasty things behind their backs.

They are trying hard to show themselves to be nice, kind, and they want to please people. But unexpressed anger, anger and envy do not go anywhere, but accumulate inside. When they envy someone's success or feel unfairly bypassed, instead of direct confrontation they choose secret ways of revenge - spread a disgusting rumor about someone, send an anonymous denunciation to their boss. Yes, these harmless dandelions can ruin your reputation.

10. They shift responsibility

It is easy to see that passive aggression is a very infantile, non-adult behavior. The passive aggressor does not feel that he is the master of his destiny, he constantly blames life, circumstances, other people for everything. Suddenly you find yourself guilty of all the misfortunes of your loved one. Everything is considered: you were not attentive enough and did not show sympathy, did not guess why he was offended, gave him unsuccessful advice, because of which everything went wrong, and just that he connected his life with you (or that you were born to him, if suddenly it was one of your parents that ruined this life completely.

Features of passive aggression: how to identify

Passive aggressor - This is a person whose main feature of behavior is that in all circumstances he tries to extinguish anger. Without being able and not wanting to express their negative emotions, such a person accumulates resentment and anger. Over time, there are so many of them that the aggressor has to pour out their emotions on other people, while at the same time carefully veiling true motives.

You will never hear from a passive aggressor overt criticism or dissatisfaction, however, the relationship with him, sooner or later, will turn into a real nightmare. How to recognize this type of personality, and learn how to resist it, you can learn from the information provided in this article.

Sabotage is the essence of a passive aggressor

The standard case is that the subordinate management is given the assignment, but he is not in a hurry to accomplish it, due to the fact that this work is not to his “soul. A person will pull to the last, squirm, avoid solving the task, in the hope that everything will “resolve” by itself, that the task will be transferred to another employee.

To do this, the passive aggressor pretends that he does not have time, cannot cope, in general, that he does not succeed, although in reality this is not so - he simply does not want to do any work through force. In any case, the workflow will be sabotaged and the aggressor will achieve his goal.

Anger is the hidden emotion of the passive aggressor.

Often, passive aggression affects people from families where a hostile atmosphere constantly reigns. Ever-swearing parents, who periodically rush at each other with fists, cause a child’s protest, which in adulthood translates into a desire to avoid open conflicts in every way.

But, as we understand, aggression does not go anywhere, it accumulates and grows, periodically transforming and pouring out on others in the form of constant discontent and critical assessments. Carefully hiding their real feelings, the passive aggressor in any situation will assure you that everything is good and that everything suits him. But it is enough to feel the intonation of the voice in order to understand that all this is a bluff and a person is not satisfied.

The people in question in this article avoid direct confrontation and will never say directly what causes their discontent. At the same time they will try to impose on you the idea that you are inadequate, cruel and soulless. It may sound something like this: “Of course, do as you know, why should you think about how I feel. Who cares about my condition? ”

Provocation is a favorite activity of the passive aggressor

Passive aggression is a state in which the aggressor always tries to keep the “face”. He will never show his obvious anger, will restrain his feelings and emotions to the end.

Silence is their favorite game. Shifting responsibility for conflict on the shoulders of another person, the aggressor, always understands what "creates". His goal is to infuriate you, thereby making yourself white and fluffy. As a result, you will hear banal phrases “I told you that you didn’t care” - this is pure provocation, which you shouldn’t give in to. You will frantically shout, and the passive aggressor will nod his head, and say that he knew from the very beginning what kind of person you are.

Passive aggression - the exact opposite of responsibility

In any life circumstances, the passive aggressor avoids responsibility, responsibility for his choice, for his actions. He will blame his parents for not giving him anything, his beloved person for depriving him of opportunities. You and only you, will be guilty of all his domestic blunders and workers not luck.

For everyone, the passive aggressor saves his version of reality, according to which he is a good and unhappy person, and all the rest are tyrants. Infantile behavior with age it gets worse; a person begins to believe in his own decency and “exclusiveness”. Being close to the passive aggressor, and proving to him the opposite, you simply lose time, because he does not intend to abandon his personal assessment, under no circumstances.

What you need to know to protect yourself

Passive aggression is something that needs to be resisted. Clearly build your boundaries and go to the end, if you are sure you are right. The passive aggressor will stop at nothing, in order to express his secret desires, he will go all the way. If you feel that something is wrong, accept it and correct it, but no more than that - you shouldn’t take responsibility for what you didn’t do.

No need to make a response attacks, it only provokes a greater heat of emotions, and, only from your side. The passive aggressor will continue to pretend to be a miserable "sheep", complaining to everyone about how they do not understand and offend him.

In severe cases, when the passive aggressor presses over you, you should not be tolerated, contact a psychologist for help. A specialist will help you to see the situation from the outside and get out of it with the slightest loss to your mental health.

In order not to lose faith in your own strength, remember that everything that the passive aggressor is talking about is not about you, it is just that he is comfortable and necessary. Take care of yourself and your personal space, not allowing toxic people to penetrate into your territory. Remember that in this situation, your mental state is a healthy assessment of what is happening and self-control.
Read more about emotional and psychological health on estet- portal.com.

You may be interested in: How to understand what the "chips" of your appearance are.


“You can’t rely on my husband: he promises to do something, and then he puts off for a long time, makes up reasons, lets things go. It's easier to pick up a dry-cleaning suit, although he promised him along the way.

And I - an extra hour with an uncomfortable cover in public transport. And so in everything! - Larisa shares (32). - When such trifles accumulate too much, I explode, scream. And in vain, because he didn’t seem to have done anything like this - I myself didn’t wait for his help. It becomes a shame for a tantrum. But I want to make trouble, because time is ticking, but nothing changes. ”

First of all, it is important to understand: anger, powerlessness, guilt - the most common reaction of women in relations with a passive aggressor. Remember that you are also a person and have the right to emotions. By suppressing anger, you risk becoming just as passive as the aggressor. “Do not bring to the explosion: faced with the fact that you are not satisfied, immediately express the reaction honestly and openly - then you can do it calmly. Formulate the problem and declare it. And then propose solutions that are convenient for you, ”Galina Turetskaya advises.

The passive aggressor also wants intimacy, but the fear of becoming addicted is stronger than the need for love. Desire plus fear is the formula for inaction. “Neither reciprocal disregard (to disperse in different angles), nor irritation, nor manifestation of heightened care will lead to a good result,” says the psychologist. - It is important to keep calm and positive attitude, showing you by your appearance: I am ready for dialogue, but you will have to take a step. After all, an active position is exactly what the partner is so afraid of. ” Suit dry cleaning? Let him wait there in the wings. Try to make an effort over yourself and not take the responsibility shifted to you, do not fulfill his promise for a partner. Try to calmly relate to his excuses, do not try to catch a lie - he could actually stay at work. But even if I sat there to the bitter end, just to not go to the cinema, as you agreed, all the same, excuses are the best possible for him at the moment. Over time, when the partner has experience of active participation in the relationship, he will be able to take on more responsibility.


Psychoanalyst and expert in gene psychology Dmitry Kalinsky notes: at least 70% of men show passive aggression. But women also suffer from this "disease." After all, society requires us to be soft and non-conflicting. Under the pressure of a stereotype of femininity or fear of losing a relationship, aggression takes hidden forms.
“We have been meeting with Ivan for several months, and I would very much like this relationship to develop into a marriage,” admits Marina (27). - But sometimes I feel that he does not understand me. Recently, knowing that I was working at home, I arrived without warning with flowers and candy. I could not explain that I could not give him time, that he was inappropriate and distracting me. She took a bouquet over the threshold and dissuaded urgent work. For some reason he was offended. If a man behaved incorrectly, it would be possible to declare open war against him. But he takes care, attention, demonstrates the desire to be near - there is nothing to complain about! Then the tools of hidden aggression are used, including tests for real men.
How often at the beginning of a relationship do you arrange for a partner to “check for lice”, as if demonstrating his worst sides - capriciousness, irritability, playing in silence, carping about with or without. All this is also a form of passive aggression, but of a slightly different kind. The subconscious signal of this behavior: "Love me like this - and then I will believe that you truly love me." But you can not control the line beyond which a light female bitchiness develops into aggression. Хорошо , если твой герой окажется достаточно опытным и терпеливым , чтобы пройти через испытательный срок. А если нет — скоро превратитесь в двух разочарованных людей , так и не понявших , кто виноват и что это было. Лучшее в подобной ситуации — обратиться к психологу , чтобы разобраться в причинах и устранить недоверие к мужчине.

психология пассивно-агрессивного поведения в семье и на работе»:

1 Recognize the signals of passive-aggressive behavior in advance: procrastination, ignoring, hushing up, avoiding discussion of the problem, gossip.

2 Do not give in to provocations. The subconscious goal of the passive aggressor is to drive you out of yourself. If you feel that you are starting to boil, try to calmly express the negative: "I will not scream, because it will only aggravate the situation."

3 Indicate to the passive aggressor the anger he is experiencing - such people ignore this particular emotion. Your opinion should be confirmed by a concrete fact: "I think you are angry with me now because I asked you to do this and that."

4 Accept the resistance. Your goal is to make you externally show the anger that a person hides deep inside. But as soon as you indicate the presence of this emotion, the passive aggressor will begin to deny its presence. As soon as he does, say: “Good! I just felt this way and decided to share my opinion with you. ” Do not argue and do not prove anything. You can close this topic at the moment, but the partner will understand: you treat his emotions respectfully and calmly. And, perhaps, will soon cease to hide them.

Why does passive aggression arise?

The causes of passive aggression are different:

  1. Many psychologists agree that the passive-aggressive behavior develops in early childhood, when the child is forbidden to openly express emotions. Parents are unlikely to think about the consequences when they ask the child not to get angry or scream. But the child gradually gets used to suppress anger and in adulthood simply cannot openly show it.
  2. Character traits. People who are indecisive, apathetic, asthenic, weak, unsure are prone to passive aggression. But at the same time psychologists do not conceal anger as a trait, as it can develop in adulthood (which is often the case).
  3. Permanent stay in an environment in which it is impossible or not accepted to show emotions. Such conditions are formed in strict conservative or religious families, in political or diplomatic activities, in workplaces in organizations with strict rules, in military service, and so on.
  4. Strong influence of someone else's or public opinion. If a person is strongly and constantly experiencing due to the fact that others think about him, he will restrain emotions, especially negative ones. But anger is almost inevitable in everyday life, so it will be consistently suppressed and restrained that it will become a habit.
  5. Psychological dependence. If a person depends on someone (from a spouse, mother or father, employer), then he is afraid to demonstrate and even feel anger, constantly suppressing him.

How to recognize a passive aggressor?

The suppression of aggression changes a person’s behavior, his attitude towards others and life in general. Signs can be very different:

  • absent-mindedness, inability to concentrate and concentrate on something, to perform actions requiring increased attention,
  • lack of reaction to the negative from others, silence in controversial or conflict situations,
  • disagreements and quarrels with people around them (as a rule, with relatives) in everyday life, moreover, unreasonable and literally arising from scratch,
  • hidden sabotage (the person does not openly refuse to do anything, but as if he simply forgets about it or comes up with excuses and arguments),
  • positioning oneself as a victim, deliberately demonstrating resentment and one’s own weakness,
  • unwillingness to take responsibility, shifting it to others, frequent delegation of authority,
  • systematic failure to fulfill requests, ignoring these promises,
  • constant postponement of cases, punctuality,
  • unwillingness to make important decisions and make choices
  • apathy, inaction, indifference,
  • blackmail and manipulation by instilling guilt in others,
  • avoidance of visual contact with opponents,
  • constant discontent, irritability,
  • sarcasm in words, overt hostility towards others, irony in communication,
  • constant grumbling, discontent,
  • unwillingness to engage in dialogues or abruptly stop them (especially if there are disagreements with the interlocutor),
  • depressions, unfounded fears, obsessive thoughts (including suicide).

How to solve a problem?

How to deal with passive aggression? If suppression of anger has become a habit, it will be difficult to get rid of it. But it is real, if you reconsider and change your behavior. The hidden aggressor is recommended to express his opinion more often and at least sometimes if not to show emotions, then openly talk about them so that others can understand the feelings.

But what to do when emotionality in the prevailing conditions of life or work is not appropriate? You can look for alternative ways to get rid of the negative: playing sports, creativity, tearing the paper to shreds, a loud cry and so on. Giving an outlet to emotions, you will not keep them to yourself and accumulate.

If the passive aggressor understands that he cannot change on his own, then it is worth asking a psychologist or psychotherapist for help. The specialist will help to find out the reasons for the suppression of anger, teach you to get rid of the negative, openly express your opinion. To solve the problem, not only personal consultations are applied, but also group lessons that help learn to interact with people, not to be afraid of conflicts and disagreements.

How to behave with a person prone to passive aggression?

If the passive aggressor is one of the closest people, it is important to correctly interact with it. But how to behave in this case? Recommendations will help:

  1. You should not openly provoke a passive aggressor, try to bring it to emotions. You need to be calmer and more indulgent.
  2. Do not try to manipulate the overwhelming anger of a man, dominate him.
  3. Do not impose your opinion, do not try to prove the truth.
  4. Do not force the aggressor to anything.
  5. Do not place great responsibility on a person, do not demand fulfillment of complex tasks, do not take promises.
  6. Some features of the behavior should be ignored, for example, frequent tardiness, indecision, absent-mindedness, irresponsibility.


Passive aggression and constant suppression of anger lead to negative consequences affecting not only the most hidden aggressor, but also the people around him. Negative emotions go nowhere, gradually accumulate and affect the psychological state of a person. He feels depressed and annoyed, begins to hate everyone around, faces problems in communicating with people.

Hidden aggression is reflected in all walks of life. Distraction and detachment provoke errors in the performance of professional duties. There is a hostility towards colleagues and superiors. Restrained negative emotions are regularly manifested in everyday life and in family life. Suppressed anger provokes conflicts with close people, increased nervous irritability, depression. If emotions do not find a way out, personality disorders and behavioral deviations, suicidal thoughts develop. The outcome can be very deplorable if you do not take action in a timely manner.

Important! If the aggression is constantly suppressed, then at one moment it can break out and lead to thoughtless actions - causing harm and pain to someone, or even murder.

Passive aggression can make life difficult not only for the aggressor, but also for his close ones. But the behavior can be changed if you make an effort and act systematically.

What it is

Passive-aggressive behavior is a repressed expression of anger. Manifested in sarcasm, clowning,
procrastination, sabotage and unconscious sabotage. Destroys relationships, slows the growth of the company, prevents people
become happy.

Passive-aggressive behavior occurs when a person for some reason forbids himself to express anger:
describe it with words, show emotions, hit his fist on the table and “discharge”. Instead, man blocks anger,
and it seeps through smoothed corners.


Where does it come from

Passive aggression is a scar from childhood. A person gets it when parents restrict him in manifesting anger.
Perhaps they stop the child’s anger with words like “Stop it! I won’t allow myself to talk like that! ”Perhaps they
they themselves were masters of passive aggression, and the child immediately absorbed their inability to openly express their feelings.

Like everything from childhood, passive aggression becomes part of the personality, and it is extremely difficult to see it in oneself if
do not know her signs.

Signs of passive aggression

A person with passive-aggressive behavior is easy to recognize:

He will agree to help you, but he will do it out of hand. If you charge this
man work, he will postpone it for the last moment.

It seems that he is surrounded by people because of whom he cannot be happy. He is constantly
complains of them. Feels depressed and undervalued.

In a conflict situation, his favorite phrases - “So, okay!” And “That's enough, enough!”

During open disputes, he becomes personal, recalls the old, finds what
to blame the opponent and to the last tries to shift the blame on others.

He will undertake any obligations just to end the conversation unpleasant to him,
but will not fulfill the promise. In addition, you never know that this conversation was unpleasant to him.

He is a master of irony and sarcasm.

Useful material with a useful CRM-system is a success for business.

Passive aggression at work

This part of the mailing has prepared Marina Sulimova:business coach, consultant, biznes-koncalting.ru

Passive aggression inhibits and destroys the business. In addition to the above signs, passive aggression in the office is easy

on gossip and rumors, which in the office willingly discuss,

to leave work without explaining the reasons

for backstage complaints about heavy workloads, bosses, and difficult working conditions.


Rude and despotic chief: does not have to trust or constructive dialogue. Often
people work under his command simply out of fear of finding a new job. About any innovations or growth of speech to be
can not.

Inattentive leadershipwhich is not ready to listen to its employees:
causes talented and hardworking employees a sense of invalidity. Often the head even
no idea how much more productive employees will be if you pay attention to their problems.

Radical innovation: employees find it difficult to accept changes in work. New rules and
procedures, a new call script, or even a new furniture arrangement can cause violent resistance.
Try to introduce new things gradually and with the support of employees. Often they themselves will propose the right ones.

Provokers: power-hungry, but not talented enough for leadership, these people
floating around the bottom of the office life and trying to somehow capture the minds of colleagues. And they are doing great. They
affect the mood of employees, weave conspiracies and intrigues, love to give advice and assert themselves by

Solution to the problem

The leader must be morally strong, do not practice passive-aggressive behavior
to be an example for employees: openly resolve conflicts, listen to others and be able to justify their position.

Order of affairs help employees not to get angry at the management for the aimlessly spent
working time. Organize the work so that they do not have to do something several times, make some
and the same data in several places, work with a large number of documents. With modern control systems
it is possible.

Instructions and standards help beginners to navigate the work much better than experience
surrounding colleagues. Open communication in a company (for example, on a corporate forum or portal) allows
employees to express wishes before they become conflicts. Listen to the staff.

Passive-aggressive customers

This part is Igor Kornienko: psychologist, business coach, CEO
holding "Business Symmetry", zastoya.net

Imagine: you are making a cold call. Greet, make an introduction, start asking questions. But how
only the client understands that you are selling something to him, he instantly overlays:

- Thank you, we do not need anything.

Familiar? This is a passive-aggressive reaction. The client wants to send us to hell, but suppresses this
pulse. In such a state it is useless to work with him, and this state can be changed. But first, we will understand
where it comes from.


According to one of the main psychological theories, our brain consists of several historically
formed organs: the reptilian brain, the limbic brain, and the neocortex — the cortex and prefrontal regions.

The reptilian brain is responsible for primitive physiological survival. Definition of danger, fear, panic,
aggression, stupor - these are reactions of the reptilian brain.

The limbic brain is responsible for complex emotions, memory, learning, regulation of pressure and hormones. This brain has
mammals, and it is inherent in love and resentment, joy and sadness, the desire for momentary pleasure.
Snack in the middle of the night - this is his tricks.

The neocortex is the highest thought processes, language and logic, rational decisions. This brain is able to weigh
Pros and cons, make a decision, make plans for the future. The bark can command the limbic brain to suffer and
to deprive yourself of momentary pleasure in order to achieve a big goal in the future.

It seems that a person is constantly "located" at the highest level of the brain, makes rational decisions and everything
weighs. Not really. I watched how modern Russian adults who grew up in the late USSR and
In early Russia, most of the time, they act according to the mechanisms of the limbic and reptilian brains,
guided by basic things: habits, the principle of momentary reward, constant fear and
aggression, the desire to protect themselves, the inability to act according to the strategic plan.

This does not apply to everyone, of course. But when “Thank you, we don't need anything” is heard on the other end of the wire - it’s not
doubt the reptilian brain in action.


How to neutralize

To turn off the reptile aggression, let her know that you are a reptile more terrible. Your back is steady, your voice is confident,
smile on face, soft pressure:

-Good day! My name is Ivan Petrov, I am preparing a report for the quality control committee
service ...

Next, draw attention:

- I collect information on the performance of companies in the tourism sector ...

And then we ask questions and sell. The client turns off the reptile protection and is ready to listen to your
rational arguments.

Remember that this is quite a serious manipulation, which in the long run can undermine you
the trust. But, by the way, nothing prevents your company from creating a committee to control the quality of service.
and make a report for it.


I notice for myself as much passive aggression as is enough for two healthy Americans. Perhaps this is such
Russian national trait - to endure and scoff. I hope not.

However, we are not alone here. If you speak English, look through the hilarious Passive Aggressive Notes blog - evidence of the repressed
the anger of creative, lonely and very passive-aggressive people.

Igor Kornienko and Marina Sulimova helped me in the work on this newsletter. Igor met me at the office,
Marina wrote a long and powerful letter. Thank!