Women's Tips

How to learn to control your anger and aggression

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Friends and acquaintances will tease you, knowing the weaknesses of your character. So, if you do not want to fall into the face of the dirt, learn to notice the provocation. At the first stage, you can break into a scream. To understand how to control anger, you must use one simple trick. After the dialogue in which your nerves have passed, you need to try to unwind the conversation back.

Alternately disassemble your replicas and replicas of the interlocutor. So you can understand what caused you to lose your temper. Accumulating information of this kind, you can gradually notice the provocation not in hindsight, but directly in the process of dialogue. If you figured out a phrase that should ruffle you, do not fall for it. Try to keep cool. Imagine that you are fighting a real enemy. Smile at the offensive remark and in a calm tone, without raising your voice, continue to respond to your opponent.

Watch your emotions

How to control anger and anger? You need to be aware of all the reactions of the body. Begin to subdue emotions one by one. Since anger and anger are the worst controlled, start with positive emotions. When you become happy, mentally put a mark about what you feel and why. When you feel sad, try to understand the cause of the emotion. Gradually, you will be able to consciously control all manifestations of feelings, and the question of how to control anger will simply disappear.

But it should be noted that the practice of subjugating emotions to oneself is very difficult. Do not expect a miracle to happen immediately. It may take a month to realize one of the emotions and subordinate it to one’s will. But this practice will help you improve your acting talents. If you can voluntarily stop the manifestation of a particular emotion, it means that you can easily draw anything on your face, from violent joy to panic fear.

Understand why a person annoys you

There are many ways to control anger. How to achieve a good result quickly? You need in the process of conversation to realize why a person says this or that phrase. First you need to make a more light version of this practice. You should just notice the topics of conversation and be aware of why this or that person wants to talk to you about the chosen topic. Making the appropriate conclusion, you can become a good psychologist. For example, talking to your girlfriend, which annoys you, you can understand that a woman is not going through a good life phase at the moment. She recently collapsed the marriage, against the background of this appeared depression and problems at work.

Naturally, the reasons for joy in a person in this situation will be small. Do not be surprised that a friend breaks anger on you. After all, at first the woman could just want to speak out, and then could not cope with her emotions and decided to throw them out. This happens all the time. If a person shouts at you, have pity on him, do not shout in response. It is better to ask your interlocutors what problems he has in life and whether you can help in solving them.

Do not add fuel to the fire

Sometimes people quarrel over trifles. In a fit of anger it is difficult to restrain. People become too frank and tell something about which they greatly regret. How to control your emotions and anger? It is necessary to learn to shut up or change the topic in time. In the process of a fierce dispute or just a small skirmish, try to understand whether it makes sense to continue the useless discussion.

If the conversation is already going on in a raised voice, and the interlocutor begins to insult you, say that you have no desire to continue the conversation in a similar tone. At this point, your opponent may try to hurt you, for example, reproach that you chickened out. Do not give in to provocation and do not continue to nothing to lead the conversation. Many good relationships are spoiled due to the inability of people to communicate. Be smarter and do not add fuel to the fire.

Go out on the balcony

Airing is sometimes useful. Remember that feeling when, after several hard hours of work, you go out to the balcony and feel a rush of fresh breeze on your face. On the same balcony you can go mentally. If you are looking for a way to control your emotions and anger, then try to make a thought experiment. During the conversation with a friend, step back from the dialogue and look at yourself from the side.

Such a procedure must always be done in order to train the ability to think soberly and to abstract simultaneously. Then in a fit of anger, you can use this experience. If you lose your temper, you will only have to go to the balcony and look at the situation from the outside, as if through the eyes of a person not involved in the dialogue. Sometimes this method helps to realize the senselessness of the discussion, which has moved to an elevated tone. A fresh breeze of unclouded consciousness helps to clear your mind, and you instantly stop fuming.

Get away from the conflict

Want to save your nerves? How to learn to control your anger? If you are too emotional, it’s not surprising that you take everything too close to your heart. This feature of nature in most cases plays on the person's hand, but sometimes delivers some inconvenience. If you can not help but feel that you are starting to get excited, get away from the problem. Do it physically first.

You start swearing with someone, just go into another room or on the balcony, and then return in two minutes when you cool down. Yes, your interlocutor may not understand your line of conduct, but in practice this will be a good start. Then you will need to move away from the conflict, not with your feet, but with your tongue. When passions run high, just change the subject. For example, you talked about politics and did not agree on views, smoothly go to a topic that is close to you, but less emotional.

Relaxation and concentration

People who practice yoga can quickly clear their mind. If you have nothing to do with meditation, you can still try a simple practice. How to control anger and irritability? During the conversation, focus on your feelings. For example, alternately feel the position of your toes, then your arms, and then your head. Do not think about anything, focus on different parts of your body. Anger will slowly recede, because the consciousness will not have enough space to process several emotions and sensations at the same time. And it’s you, and not someone else, and not the random thoughts that your interlocutor has imposed on you, that you’ll fully enslave your mind at the moment.

Focus on breathing

Not all people get used to the habit of quickly concentrating on the sensations of their body. Therefore, you can start with a lightweight practice. How to learn to control anger and irritation? Start focusing on your breathing. You do not need to somehow change its pace. Just follow the breaths and exhalations and count them.

Let your opponent rattle something to your account. Abstract from others. Only you should remain in your mind, breathing and numbers that will gradually replace each other and tell you how many breaths and breaths you have had. When the consciousness becomes empty, connect to the conversation. You may be surprised by the inappropriate behavior of your opponent. When a person calmly responds to the cry, it turns the aggressor even more. But believe me, after a stupid quarrel, the one who shouted louder will be guilty.

Learn to believe that accidents are not accidental.

People too often complain about fate. They are always dissatisfied with something. They are not satisfied that it is too hot, cold or windy outside. But it is these first negative emotions that give rise to a bad mood, which will prepare the ground for the generation of anger and aggression. How to control your emotions? Learn to take nuisances that are beyond your control for granted. For example, if you are late for work and are in traffic, stop cheating yourself. No need to mentally sort through all the things that you could not do and get out early.

You will not return the past, and you are already standing in traffic. In this situation, you can only do one thing - to accept the situation. And so it is necessary to do always, when you cannot change or correct something. If you are able to improve your position, it means you need to do something. And if nothing can be done, you need to relax and assume that this is a sign of destiny sent to you from above. You heard that people who were late for their flight, only initially were angry with themselves and their unhappy fate. When the plane crashed, they thanked fate for protecting them from death. So train yourself to always think in a positive way.

Find a hobby

How to control outbursts of anger? You need to learn to suppress your emotions. But after all, psychologists say that unspoken anger will still burst out. It's true. So you need to find yourself a hobby that will serve as an outlet for your emotional stress. For this purpose, fit any sport or dance. Physical activity helps to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, and at the same time to get rid of all that is superfluous, including an excess of emotions. If you do not like to play sports, then choose something creative. For example, you can do drawing or music. Draw for half an hour a day, and you can get rid of the accumulated anger, and also upgrade your skill and you can give your friends wonderful portraits. You can do embroidery, modeling, making furniture or figurines.

What is anger

Contrary to universal belief, anger is not a personality trait, but an emotion that is inherent in every person. There are a number of factors that provoke its appearance. The truth is that some can control it, while others can not. But why the body needs negative emotions that only harm. This is another misconception about anger.

The feeling of aggression occurs when the body is protected from external negative effects. Without anger, the human nervous system would not withstand such an influx of annoying factors that arise every day. And the more of them, the more aggressive the person seems.

Remember the case when you were angry, and what happened to your body at that moment. A person's pulse quickens in anger, body temperature rises, sweat is released and his mind is lost. So the body does not allow negative emotions to reach the brain and cause stress.

But if anger is so useful, then why control it? Besides the fact that it protects our body, in large quantities aggression becomes dangerous both for the person himself and for the people around him.

Causes of anger

The source of anger can be any situation that a person cannot control. But such cases occur often, why anger does not always manifest itself. The thing is that besides this, a number of certain factors are also needed that provoke a weakening of the nervous system.

Causes of anger include:

  1. A person is affected by a disease that reduces the overall tone of the body and affects the immune system,
  2. If a child in childhood did not receive enough warmth and care from his parents to grow up kind and open, then at an older age he would experience outbursts of anger,
  3. Psychological traumas or severe disappointments that have occurred in the past also affect the frequency of aggressive spikes,
  4. If a person since childhood has become accustomed to the manifestation of aggression by those around him, then it is difficult to imagine his calm and measured future. Therefore, never allow "let off steam" in children.

As you can see, the cause of anger often lies much deeper than we imagine. Therefore, it is sometimes impossible to do without the advice of an experienced psychologist. If a person notices behind himself or someone from close attacks of aggression that cannot be controlled, do not delay the visit to a specialist.

What is dangerous anger

Despite the fact that anger is a protective function of the nervous system for misunderstanding and resentment, it can bring sad consequences. According to statistics, most accidents, fights, family conflicts, and murders happen in a fit of aggression. Many cases could have been avoided if we were able to get the best of emotions.

What anger leads to:

  1. Physical exhaustion. Scientists have found that chronic susceptibility to bursts of anger leads to diseases of the cardiovascular and immune system, diabetes, hypertension, mental disorders, depression. No wonder there is a saying that all diseases are from the nerves.
  2. Destruction career. Aggressive behavior towards colleagues will cause not only constant discontent of the authorities, but also dismissal. Today, in prestigious firms and companies in employees, stress resistance and the ability to get out of conflict situations are primarily valued.
  3. Loss of family and friends. If a person is often observed outbursts of anger, even the closest people can not stand. First of all, trust disappears, and then respect for people who cannot control themselves.

With aggressive behavior is difficult to fight, because a person can not himself be aware of the gravity of the situation. In this case, you need to openly talk to him about the problem and convince him that the help of a specialist is necessary.

Myths about anger

Anger can be controlled, but for this you need to learn a few truths. This knowledge will help to quickly reach the cherished goal and regain peace in the family, at work and in life.

  1. Anger needs to be released, you can not keep it to yourself. In part, this statement is true, but you need to get rid of anger correctly so that it does not have an impact on others. Below you will read some tips on how to do this.
  2. Anger can earn respect. Many believe that if they are afraid, they will achieve a lot in life. But this is not at all the case. Much more people deserve, if they respect others, and not to use as a whipping pear.
  3. Controlling anger is not possible. This can and must be learned. It only depends on the person whether he can overcome his anger or not.
  4. To control anger is to suppress it. In fact, these are completely different things. In controlling emotions, it is important to direct them in the right direction, without hitting anyone or insulting anyone. Suppression will lead to the same consequences as the lack of control.

In most cases, it is sufficient to carry out standard psychotherapy, including exercises that are advised by a psychologist. But for particularly emotional individuals, therapeutic therapy or hypnosis is applied.

How to learn to control anger

Psychologists recommend working in two directions: to control brain activity leading to outbursts of anger, as well as its physical manifestations. Thus, you can achieve great results and become a completely different person.

  1. Before letting go of anger, you need to present the situation from the outside. This will help to avoid rash actions.
  2. Next, you should find the cause that caused the attack of anger. How important is it and is it worth it to spend your nerve cells on it?
  3. If the cause was an unexpected situation, you need to find a way out and get rid of the problem.
  4. If the reason is the behavior of another person, do not rush at him with accusations, you should listen to the arguments and argue your position in a calm tone. Sometimes you can solve the situation with a witty joke.
  5. Excellently helps visualization techniques based on childhood memories. It is necessary to be mentally in the place where there was a feeling of security.
  6. Another technique is the “diary of anger.” In the notebook you need to record every attack of aggression, which took place to be, as well as to describe in detail the causes and emotions. It is useful to periodically re-read and analyze it.
  7. Having understood which situations most often cause anger, you need to learn how to avoid them. Conflict is better to prevent than to correct the consequences.

  1. Feeling a surge of anger, you need to take 10 deep breaths. Next, you need to perform simple physical exercises, so the brain is distracted from the problem, and the situation will no longer be critical.
  2. If there is an opportunity to change the situation (go out, go to another room), you need to use it.
  3. If there is no opportunity to go out, then it is better to concentrate on your body parts (legs, arms), alternately straining and relaxing them.
  4. Once alone, you can vent the anger on an inanimate object (tear the paper, break the cup).
  5. Controlling outbursts of anger will help fascination with knitting, embroidery and other hobbies that develop fine motor skills.

Anger can and should be controlled, it’s enough to have desire. Сегодня психологи достаточно хорошо изучили эту проблему и готовы предоставить исчерпывающие ответы по любым вопросам. Если возможности посетить специалиста нет, рекомендуется самостоятельно подобрать подходящие советы и следовать им.

Управление гневом - начните с поиска причин

Есть много разных причин гнева, без осознания которых невозможно научиться управлению гневом. Для того, чтобы узнать, как научиться управлять гневом, нужно выяснить его причины.

Сегодня ученые выделяют как минимум четыре основных фактора, делающих человека склонным к проявлению гнева:

  • Модель поведения принятая от родителей, когда они использовали гнев в целях решения различных проблем.
  • Гнев может являться реакцией на стрессовое состояние.
  • Fatigue also negatively affects the nervous system, causing irritation and anger for the slightest reason.
  • The reaction of the body to prolonged restraint of emotions, when the accumulated "steam" breaks out at an opportunity.

How to learn to manage anger

Having understood the causes of anger, it is important to understand how to learn to manage anger in order to feel comfort and not cause harm to others.

Realize the reasons for your anger, what or who causes it and why. Talk to a psychologist or a loved one you trust. The dialogue will allow a better view of the situation from the outside.

If irritability and angry emotions are caused by excessive fatigue, then sufficient attention should be paid to rest and relaxation. Meditation, pleasant bath in combination with aromatherapy, light music, etc. help to escape and relax.

If you want to hit or in any way harm, remember that the consequences will not bring anything good. And imagine the offender in the form of a helpless kitten or baby, this will help you learn how to manage anger.

Disputes and quarrels are most often the result of misunderstanding. So instead of getting angry, try to understand and put yourself in your opponent's place. Or at least agree that he has the right to his own opinion.

Managing anger is not difficult. Try to solve your problems and troubles in a timely manner, since their accumulation leads to insomnia, stress and aggression. Under stress, it will be difficult to learn to manage anger.

Disassemble personal conflicts. Try to talk, explain your feelings, do not state what he should feel, but express your feelings. You can attract someone third, in this case, the person from the side will act as a bridge between you.

It is important to try not to clash and live in harmony. After all, in fact, each of us has not so many close people to allow ourselves to quarrel and not to communicate because of any nonsense.

Dealing with anger - recommendations

Any one of us in life has ever been in a situation where rage and discontent won out over common sense. The prerequisites of rage are different: actions that contradict our views and principles, attacks from the leadership, employees, wife or spouse, a broken cup, however, anything. In this state of mind, even the little things cause discontent. Let's take a look at how to manage anger.

Try to free yourself from anger.

If you are left alone with yourself, you should get rid of anger. Rabies bodily deliverance is one of the most effective methods of defusing anger. Anger management can be performed by running or do the cleaning, wash the car or just hit the pillow. After physical release from anger, you seem to have released your own rage. Next comes a feeling of calm and silence.

In such situations it is necessary to make the deepest slow breath. Hold your breath for two to three seconds and repeat this exercise five to ten times. Then get rid of anger with relaxation. To do this, mentally go through all parts of your body and relax any muscle.

To control anger, start the exercise with your toes, then go up the legs, then your arms, tummy, chest, neck, face and head, that part that is covered with hair. When you are done, enjoy the sensation that you have created in your body and mind.

Negative emotions and feelings are provided to a person for feeling different ranges of life. If there are no questions to the sensations of fun and delight, how to formulate them and what to do with them, then often rage and outrage are characteristic of mature people. Such emotionality needs to be experienced, not hidden.

Take care of household chores

Clean, cook, wash dishes or floors, transplant flowers. In general, find a homework class that will take a lot of energy from you, and anger along with it.

Scientists have conducted research on anger management. The result of research - women who release their anger quite often, are less susceptible to early death than those who try to stifle anger in themselves.

Decide for yourself, restrain your anger or give it to you. But until you learn how to deal with your anger, people around you should not suffer because of this. Instead of tormenting yourself with questions, you need to articulate the problem out loud. And explain it to the very person who makes you angry.

How to control anger and aggression - recommendations

Anger is a pernicious emotion, which not only brings additional conflicts and offenses to life, but also negatively affects health. Most of the situations and reasons for which we are angry, are not worth a penny. But over time, all the expressed and unspoken rudeness are reflected in the nervous and cardiovascular systems. It would be more rational to learn how to learn to control anger than to treat its effects.

So, when a provocative situation or a specific conflict occurs, try the following anger management:

Count slowly to ten, when you feel that it is angry and you are ready to just explode. At the same time, repeat to yourself that anger will hurt you and your health first of all, so there is no need to be angry.

Remember about deep breathing, which restores blood pressure and puts the nervous system in order, allowing you to control anger. Take a deep breath with your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth. Breathe deeply until you feel completely reassured.

Get rid of the rabies that is in you, with the support of physical exercises. Do something, imagine that with every effort, rage leaves you. If you can, buy yourself a punching bag or make a scarecrow. Moving angry emotions to the subject is a very effective way to control anger, because it expresses negative emotions and is a source of physical exertion.

You can also deal with anger by drawing an offender on paper or taking a photo of him, and then do with it everything you want: tear, burn, etc.

You can write an angry letter, where you express all your attitude to the object of irritation (you should not send such a letter). Just pour the paper all that has accumulated and tear pieces into pieces.

A good way to control anger is to remember a funny movie, anecdote or incident, that is, to turn your attention. You can even laugh out loud, perhaps it will defuse the situation.

Try to understand the cause of the angry state. Perhaps, if you see an outlet to break into someone, it is better to try to avoid communication or situations that provoke anger.

To control anger, do not act as a provocateur, do not start quarrels. Try to nobly and intelligently get out of a conflict situation. As a last resort, follow the above points.

Drink something cool, eat ice cream, wash your face with cool water. These weird tips actually help control anger. When you are angry, your body temperature always rises. When you use something cool, it falls, thereby reducing the degree of your anger.

If you are angry so much that you can not subside, just leave your own rage at some distance behind you. Leave the space in which you feel these emotions. Managing anger will not happen and you will not calm down while you are there, where something makes you feel that way. In general, be sure to change the situation, which entails irritation and rage.

Naturally, never getting angry at anything is actually unrealistic, however, this does not mean that in some cases you cannot simply avoid unnecessary stress. It is easier than it seems, just try not to look at a huge number of factors that cause your rage. In the end, you will stop annoying all sorts of nonsense and you will learn how to control anger. Maybe it will not come out right the first time.

Let your rabies leave you and go to the paper. Take a paper with a pen and write everything that you are angry with, that it infuriates and irritates you. Write as much as you can and without a pause. Do not reflect on what exactly you are writing, just do it.

What do you care about, who and what you are angry with, describe your own rage, transfer your anger to a piece of paper with the support of words. This way to control anger is especially recommended for people who are timid and extremely irritable - thanks to this polite approach you will free yourself from the negative and do not wake it in yourself.

Nature of anger

In a fit of anger, people often commit rash acts, for which they then have to pay in the literal sense - with money or deal with the resentment of loved ones or those around them. Anger and excessive anger most often plays a negative role in a person’s life. Therefore, it is important to learn how to fight it.

Anger is an emotion. Therefore, it is not quite true to talk about how to overcome anger or stop being angry. Rather like learn to control your emotions generally. We will have to fight not only anger in particular, but rather with ourselves in the expression of our emotions. Having gained control over your condition, it will immediately become much easier to live, it will be easier to build relationships with people and you can avoid a lot of mistakes that are due to incontinence.

How to control anger?

First of all, you need to understand for yourself that if the attacks of anger recur frequently (more than once every two weeks), then this is not a good sign. It may indicate the presence of mental disorders of a different nature, ranging from stress, neurosis, and ending with mental illness. If you decide to fight anger, then that's good. This means that you have recognized the problem. They made one of the most difficult steps in changing themselves, they decided to fight with their character.

Briefly, you can highlight the main prerequisites for anger:

  • Stress, psychological stress, fear. These factors can be in a complex, and can act and the separate reasons. When a person is scared, he will mobilize all his internal reserves, anger will be as a way of protection from a threatening situation.
  • As an acceptable form of behavior. Almost everyone has people around who shout without shame at others, are rude, or even enter into a fight for the slightest reason. In this case, anger acts as a dose of adrenaline and a way to get pleasure - a person likes to make sure that he is much stronger than others, this gives him a sadistic pleasure.
  • As a way to express unnecessary stress. There are people who for a long time do not show their negative emotions. Inside the growing tension. There comes a time when a person at a time “throws out” everything.

If you understand what causes irritation most often and why it arises for a specific person in a specific situation, then it will become easier to control your excessive anger and irritability. We need a more rational approach to this problem, with a minimum of emotions and subjective experiences. Just the facts. You can prepare yourself in advance for the possibility of irritation.

Can anger be the norm?

It can be a variant of a normal, adequate behavior situation. In case a person displays it at danger (imaginary or real) or it occurs one-time, from excessive emotional stress. Excessive anger can not be normal in the philistine sense. Constant irritation is always bad. Search for the reasons you need first of all within yourself. External factors - most often not the causes, but only predisposing phenomena to anger. Internal factors - fatigue, stress, frustration, fear can also be a contributing factor to the manifestation of evilness. How to cope with irritability and anger in this case? Think about yourself, about your condition. Rest and relax more often. Sometimes it is useful to let go of the situation. Everything can be resolved by itself.

Anger is a normal human reaction to dissatisfaction of needs, if it is expressed in socially acceptable forms and does not infringe upon any rights. Anger comes in moments when it is impossible to gain something or achieve something. Sometimes it is better to reduce your demands on others, and try to satisfy your needs in acceptable ways and pacify emotions.

Causes of anger

Psychology examines the reactions of anger from different points of view. Some authors in psychology believe that if a person can control his emotions, he will be able to solve many problems of the development of his personality. Some, on the contrary, believe that since emotions are short-term reactions, they do not require careful analysis. Perhaps, if anger and anger are subjugated to the mind, it will actually become easier to live. This is on the one hand.

But on the other hand, man cannot be a robot. Moreover, emotions help to understand another person. Anger, like any other emotion, can play both a negative role in a person’s life and a positive one. Often it acts as a defensive reaction. Or when a person takes a defensive position. When he has little thought, how to control his anger or irritability. His thoughts are occupied with protection from surrounding or external circumstances. Especially, it concerns children.

Anger can be a signal to others, like - it is dangerous to approach. In fact, there may be many functions. But for the person himself, the manifestations of anger and irritability have a rather negative effect on the general condition. Anger exhausts the psyche, makes it more vulnerable. It is also important to know how to curb your anger and malice. A person begins to get angry and annoyed when something goes completely differently from what he intended or wanted.

The main reason is the inability (unwillingness) to restrain oneself at a particular moment. Not those circumstances that at the moment cause irritation, namely, the inability of a person to specific circumstances not to get angry or angry.

How to get rid of anger?

Immediately it is worth noting that you need to fight not with one-off manifestations, you need to deal with the internal causes of anger and try to eliminate them. If you have noticed that bouts of anger began to occur relatively recently, then this is a clear sign of internal stress. Need to work with him. Understand yourself, for starters. Why do you so vigorously express your negative emotions. How to overcome anger? Immediately, we note that it is unrealistic to free oneself from this. People can't keep themselves in tight frames all the time. Negative emotions sometimes need to show.

If anger is the norm for you, that is, it is your constant companion, and all your friends are already accustomed to the fact that if you vomit and toss, then it is already more difficult. Anger has become a trait of character, and it is necessary to fight not with anger, but with its malice.

In the case when anger is only a one-time way to “relieve” tension, it rarely occurs, then there is no particular cause for concern. Unless, of course, people do not suffer from this too much.

Ways to deal with anger:

  • Open verbal expression. Examples: “I am so angry now, ready to kill everyone”, “This situation terribly angers me, I don’t know how to influence this anymore,” “It annoys me when people do that. Why do they do that? ” It's okay, even if these phrases will sound on high voices. The main thing is not to overdo it.
  • Physical exercise. In the case when you feel that anger is slowly seizing you, try to find a way for intense, short-term physical exertion - squatting, pushing up, running, lifting and dragging heavy objects. 3-5 minutes is enough, the anger will recede. Even brisk walking will do. After that, you can express your indignation in a more civilized way.
  • Autotraining (internal training). Special breathing exercises, or at least just deep breaths and exhalations. The account itself, and if possible, out loud will be an even better way. Not necessarily ordinal. It is necessary to “load” the brain with any mathematical operations, even if they are complex. This will be only a plus and will help restrain.
  • You can go eat or drink tea. Food has a soothing effect. Gives energy. A delicious food can relieve irritation. Chocolate, cakes, sweets. Sweet gives a good mood. Let it be for a while. But this time will be enough for the negative to go. It's hard to be evil all the time.

Just need to remember that these methods can help, if there are no serious internal problems. Anxiety, fears, unrest only provoke outbursts of anger and aggression. It would be naive to think that you can cope with fits of anger easily and simply. This process can take many months. All difficulties must be overcome gradually. Especially if it has become a style of behavior. Then uncontrollable outbursts of anger are already turning into rudeness and incontinence, inability to control themselves.

How to restrain anger and aggression - 6 ways

Иногда в жизни мы сталкиваемся с ситуацией, в которой по тем или иным причинам не позволяем себе проявлять агрессию. Или позволяем, но потом жалеем об этом. Например, мы злимся на начальника или клиента, но не можем излить на него этот гнев, ведь тогда мы рискуем лишиться работы. Мама может злиться на ребенка, а муж – на жену. Если нам дороги эти отношения, лучше действительно не проявлять словесную или, тем более, физическую агрессию, и попробовать сдержаться. Так как справиться с агрессией? Я представляю вашему вниманию шесть способов как сдерживать гнев и агрессию:

Способ #1: Тайм-аут

Возьмите тайм-аут. Если агрессия возникла у вас в результате разговора с клиентом по телефону – просто выйдите после разговора, проветритесь, подумайте о чем-нибудь приятном, налейте себе чай, и ваш мозг незамедлительно успокоится и отпустит ситуацию. If the aggression arose on the basis of, for example, a domestic conflict, you can do the same. Warn the interlocutor that you need to go out, and when you return, you can calmly and steadily end the conversation.

Method # 2: Swap places

Put yourself in the shoes of your opponent. At that very moment, when anger as if fills your entire body and seeks to break out, mentally change places with it. Take your mind in his place and answer the questions: Why did he say that now? What does he feel at this moment? Maybe he too angry or offended? Or simply did not understand me? Or maybe I need to more clearly convey my idea? This way will help you calm down. In addition, you will probably be able to look at the situation from a different point of view and be able to resolve the resulting conflict.

If you are concerned about conflicts with your husband or wife, read this article. It details how to quarrel in order to improve relations.

Method # 3: Breathe

Breathe belly. At the moment when rage overwhelms you and it seems that the head is about to explode, pay attention to your breath. Did you notice how you breathe? Take a few slow breaths. Breathe belly. This will pacify your body and oxygenate your brain. The head will thank you immediately with its calmness.

For the prevention of anger management, I recommend you a fantastic “conscious breathing” technique. It lasts only 10 minutes a day and gives peace of mind for life.

Sit or better lie down on your back in a quiet setting where no one will disturb you. Put your right hand in the navel, and your left hand on the chest. Breathe so that only the right hand rises. You can also put a small book on your stomach and watch how it rises. Breathe deeply and slowly, belly, watch your breath. Try to slow down your thoughts. Think only of your breathing. “Now I breathe in, my lungs fill with air, oxygen flows to all organs ...”

This technique is also called diaphragmatic or abdominal breathing. In addition to aggression, it helps to cope with panic attacks, fears and anxieties. Read more about this in this article.

If you do this technique every day - the aggression will gradually leave your life once and for all.

Method # 4: Visualization

At the moment when an aggressive state rolls on you, imagine yourself in a safe place. Remember the place where you were good and carefree. It can be a seashore or a river or a pleasant memory of how you sat with friends in a cafe. Imagine you are there now.

If a place does not greatly affect you, you can simply present yourself next to a person with whom you always feel good and calm. Imagine everything in detail: how you are dressed, what you are doing, what your surroundings are. Returning to reality, your brain will release aggression.

Method # 5: Logic

Turn on the logic. Aggression, like all emotions, originates in the right hemisphere of the brain. The left hemisphere is responsible for logic. If you turn on the logic and try to analyze the situation, the left hemisphere will be activated, and the work of the right will slow down. The brain will release the emotion of anger, and you calm down. In addition, an analysis of the situation will probably allow you to resolve it.

Method # 6: The Perfect Quarrel

Brawl right. Quarrel is a great way to resolve a conflict. Ideally, a quarrel is always the starting point for the development of relationships. The right quarrel looks like this.

First, it excludes the word "you." For a constructive conflict, you need to fully focus on yourself. In psychology, this is called “you-message” (or saying) and “I-message”. As a rule, people communicate exclusively with the help of “you-statements”: “you did everything wrong!”, “It's all because of you!”, “You are to blame for everything!”. Such an approach is fundamentally wrong, this quarrel will have no meaning except for the interlocutors saying insults and reproaches towards each other.

Start a quarrel using the “I-saying”: “I didn’t like that you ...”, “I was upset because…”, “It hurts me to see ...”, “I am not happy that…”. These words are already in themselves filled with emotions coming from you. The interviewee already sees that he has done something unpleasant to you. If he possesses even a little sympathy, then he will definitely hear you.

The main point of a correct quarrel is that instead of shifting responsibility onto another, you concentrate on yourself. On their feelings, emotions, experiences associated with this conflict. Your partner will immediately feel it. Suddenly you stopped blaming him and talking about your feelings. This will shift the angle of conflict in the opposite direction and will quickly bear fruit.

The scheme of the right quarrel is:

  1. You express your reason for indignation with the help of "I-statements"
  2. Connect your emotions
  3. Speak possible alternative behaviors of the interlocutor

For example: “I did not like that you came so late. It upsets me. I would like you to think about me and come on time next. ”

First of all, you calmly convey to the interlocutor the reason for your indignation, express constructively what did not suit you in this matter. Then you make sure that your message is clear. If you are sure that the interlocutor heard and understood everything correctly, then you express to him as calmly and measuredly as you would like to eliminate your indignation. What you need to do to be the way you want, and why. If you do it all based on feelings and emotions (say what you are unpleasant and what would make you happy), then the interlocutor will not only like your feelings, but will probably do everything to resolve the situation in a favorable way for you.

How to safely show aggression without offending

I shared with you ways showing how to cope with aggression. I hope that you will not just read them, but write yourself, remember or add the page to your bookmarks and use these methods in difficult situations. But know that any unmanifest emotions always find a way out. That is, they inevitably pour into something. They, like energy, do not appear from nowhere and go nowhere. That is why you need, after applying one of the proposed methods of deterring aggression, to tell your interlocutor calmly and steadily about what has angered you. Say what exactly you were unpleasant to hear or what actions this person did not like and why.

If these words are spoken calmly and convincingly, with the help of the “I-message” and applying the method of correct quarrel, anyone will understand and hear them, whether they are a taxi driver, boss, wife, child, or seller in a store.

So you can determine for yourself what exactly hurts you. You will understand how and when people create a situation for you where you start to get angry, and you can adjust this process.

How to express aggression - 3 ways out of emotions

So, any emotion always finds a way out. If you do not let her go outside, she will find a way out in your body. And such emotions as anger, fear, sadness, if we restrain them, destroy the body from the inside. Over time, this can manifest itself in the form of illness or depression.

If you do not need the consequences of suppressing aggression in the form of diseases, read on how to give a safe way out to emotions.

Here, you have kept your anger, and then, if possible, with words you said to your interlocutor that you did not like it. The last step remains - give your aggression a way out in action, find a suitable way for you to express anger through the reaction of the body.

The best and guaranteed way is sport. Running, fitness, wrestling, dancing, jumping. It can also help the occupation, which brings you pleasure and at the same time works with the body - for example, drawing, sculpting, knitting. You can beat pillows or a pear.

Shout out loud at your pleasure. In a closed car, in the forest, in the field, by the reservoir. Want to cry - cry.

A friend of mine periodically goes to the river, where no one is there, beats his chest with his fists and shouts loudly. This method is also great.

In general, find your favorite way out of emotions and use it regularly. You will feel relieved, and your body will thank you.

Security, yours and other people - this is the main frontier of aggression. Anything that does not go beyond this boundary can and should be done. Do not allow yourself to suppress emotions. Let's give them a safe way out.

If you read this article not for fun, but to really deal with yourself, pay attention to the article about how to stop nervous and calm down.

Conclusion

So, now you know much better how to restrain anger and aggression, and also how to quarrel and give way to aggression after a quarrel. Let's summarize. If you feel aggression rolling in on you, you need to go through three steps:

  • At the time of conflict, when you want to raise your voice or quarrel, use one of the ways that show how to cope with aggression. For example, mentally stand in the place of the interlocutor. Hang yourself in a safe place or with a nice person. Where you feel good. Take time out or turn on logic. And yet - perfect diaphragmatic breathing.

  • After that, calmly talk with the interlocutor using the method of proper quarrel. Apply the “i-message”. Forget the word "you", take responsibility for yourself. With the help of "I-messages" speak the reason for their indignation. Then add the feelings or emotions that you have with it. And in the end - come up with alternative behaviors of the interlocutor in this situation. Tell him how pleased you would be if he acted like this and not like this. Do not doubt it works. If you do this technique correctly, calmly and convincingly, your interlocutor will not only hear you, but also listen. It is likely that he will not do this again. And if you always use the method of correct quarrel, then the people around you will begin to reflect you over time and, imperceptibly to themselves, will also begin to quarrel properly.
  • After applying any method of restraining aggression, despite how you managed to resolve the conflict, in the evening or the next day, be sure to let your emotions out by going to the gym or running in the woods, at the same time becoming more beautiful and happier.

And do not forget to download my book "How to love yourself." In it, I collected the most working techniques, with the help of which I myself once raised my self-esteem, became confident and fell in love with myself. This book will not only help you learn to defend your borders, without showing aggression, but in general will make your life happier.

I wish you to learn how to restrain anger and aggression, and also give them a safe way out. If you need individual assistance in dealing with your own aggression, you can contact me for psychological advice on Skype. We will analyze together where your aggression comes from, and I will help you learn how to build a safe and harmonious relationship with others.

You can sign up for a consultation through VKontakte, Instagram, or on the website. You can get acquainted with the cost of services and the scheme of work here.

Subscribe to my Instagram and YouTube channel. There are many utilities!

Take care of each other and be happy!
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova

Types of Wrath

Anger can manifest itself in three different ways:

  1. ANGER AS A TOOL: sometimes, when we cannot reach the goal, we use violence as an “easy way” to achieve what we want. In other words, use rage and violence as a tool to achieve the goal. Anger as a tool, as a rule, is used by people with weak self-control and low communication skills. However, we must remember that there are other ways of persuasion.
  2. ANGER AS PROTECTION: we feel angry in situations where we intuitively interpret the comments or behavior of other people as an attack, an insult or a complaint against us. We take offense (often for no apparent reason) and feel an irrepressible desire to attack. How? With the help of anger, that is a big mistake. In difficult situations it is better to stay calm.
  3. EXPLOSION ANGER: if we long endure some situations that we consider unfair, suppress our emotions, trying to restrain ourselves further, we find ourselves in a dangerous vicious circle, from which we choose only when we can no longer tolerate. In this case, the last “drop” is enough to “fill the bowl”. In other words, in a situation where we endure too long, even the most insignificant event can provoke an explosion of anger. Our patience “cracks”, urging us to anger and violence, we boil ... like a kettle.

People who often experience anger tend to possess specific personality traits, such as: low tolerance to frustration (they cannot understand that their desires cannot always be satisfied on their first demand, these are very egocentric people), low self-esteem, because of which they are not self-confident and do not control their emotions, lack of empathy (they cannot put themselves in the place of another person) and high impulsiveness (do not think before doing), etc.

The method of raising children also affects their way of controlling anger as they are already adults. It is very important from an early age to teach children to express their emotions so that they learn to cope with them as best they can. In addition, teach children not to react aggressively to certain situations, do not allow the child to develop the “emperor's syndrome”. The family environment also matters: it was noted that people who are worse than holding back anger come from problem families in which there is no emotional intimacy. What do we teach our children without knowing it? Learn about the Pygmalion Effect.

How to control anger. Anger is an emotional reaction that can be accompanied by biological and psychological changes.

Dealing with anger: 11 practical tips

How to get rid of anger and learn to control it? How to overcome irritation and attacks of aggression? Some kind of aggressive violent action is a natural intuitive reaction to anger and anger - we can start shouting, smashing or throwing something ... However, this is NOT the best solution. Read on! 11 tips to calm anger.

1. Be aware of the situation or circumstances that may provoke your anger.

You may experience anger or rage in some extreme situation, but it is important to learn how to manage it. To learn to manage anger, it is necessary to understand in general which problems / situations annoy you the most, how to avoid them (i.e. these very specific circumstances), how to do it best, etc. In other words, learn to work with your own reactions.

Caution! When I talk about avoiding situations and people, I mean very specific examples. All our lives we cannot avoid absolutely all people and situations that make us feel uncomfortable. If we completely avoid such moments, we will not be able to resist them.

How to cope with anger: it is vital to understand that violence and aggression will not lead you anywhere, moreover, they can aggravate the situation and even make you feel even worse. Pay special attention to your reactions (you start to feel anxious, you get the feeling that your heart is about to jump out of your chest and you are not able to control your breathing) to take action in time.

2. Be careful with words when you are angry. Remove the words “never” and “always” from your speech.

When we are angry, we can tell such a thing that it would not occur to us in a normal state. When you calm down, you will no longer feel the same, so be careful with what you say. Each of us is the master of his silence and a slave of his words.

How to cope with anger: you need to learn to reflect on the situation, look at it as objectively as possible. Try not to use these two words: "never" and "is always". When anger takes hold of you and you start thinking: “When this happens, I always get angry” or “I never succeed in anything”, you make a mistake. Try to be objective by all means and look at things optimistically. Life is a mirror reflecting our thoughts. If you look at life with a smile, she will answer you the same.

3. When you feel that you are on the verge, take a deep breath.

We all need to be aware of the limits of our capabilities. No one knows you better than you. It is obvious that every day we can face situations, people, events that can knock us out and rut ...

How to cope with anger: when it seems to you that you can no longer, that you are on the verge - take a deep breath. Try to move away from the situation. For example, if you are at work, go to the toilet, if at home - take a relaxing shower to calm your thoughts ... Take the so-called "time-out". It really helps in tense moments. Если вы можете выбраться за город – позвольте себе это, сбегите от ежедневной рутины и постарайтесь не думать о том, что злит вас. Найдите способ успокоиться. Отличный вариант – выезд на природу. Вы увидите, как природа и свежий воздух действуют на ваш мозг.

Самое главное – отвлечься, абстрагироваться от ситуации пока она не успокоится, чтобы избежать агрессивных реакций и не сделать того, о чём впоследствии можно пожалеть. Если вам хочется плакать – поплачьте. Плач усмиряет гнев и печаль. Вы поймёте, почему плакать может быть полезно для вашего психического здоровья.

Может быть, у вас плохое настроение из-за депрессии? Проверьте это вместе с CogniFit!

4. Знаете ли вы что такое когнитивное реструктурирование?

В психологии широко используется метод когнитивного реструктурирования. It is about replacing our inappropriate thoughts (for example, our interpretations of other people's intentions) with more useful ones. In other words, you need replace negative thinking with positive. So we can quickly eliminate the discomfort caused by various situations or circumstances, and the anger will quickly pass.

Example: you need to meet a work colleague who you don’t really like. You waited a full hour until he finally appeared. Since this person is unpleasant to you, you begin to think about how irresponsible he is and that he was late specifically to “annoy” you, and notice that anger is covering you.

How to cope with anger: you need to learn not to think about what others are doing in order to harm you. Give them a chance, put yourself in their place. If you allow the person to explain, you will understand that the reason for his lateness was valid (in this particular example). Try to act reasonably and objectively.

5. Master the relaxation and breathing techniques to better manage anger.

It is important to recall once again how important breathing is in moments of tension, anxiety, anger ...

How to cope with anger: proper breathing will help relieve tension and put in order thoughts. Close your eyes, slowly count to 10 and do not open them until you feel that you begin to calm down. Breathe deeply and slowly, try to clear your mind, free it from negative thoughts ... gradually. The most common breathing techniques are abdominal breathing and progressive muscle relaxation according to Jacobson. How to relax when something bothers you?

You can also learn how to meditate, this is a good technique with which you can keep control of your emotions and restrain anger and aggression. Find out what is conscious meditation or Mindfulness meditation.

If it is still difficult for you to relax, imagine in your mind some nice calm picture, landscape or listen to the music relaxing you. How to keep calm?

Besides, try to get enough sleep at night (at least 7-8 hours), because rest and sleep contribute to better control of emotions, increase our mood and reduce irritability.

6. Social skills will help you cope with anger. You control anger, not the other way around.

Daily situations that we face require us to be able to behave accordingly with other people. It is important to be able not only to listen to others, but also to be able to keep the conversation going, give thanks, if you are helped, help ourselves and give others the opportunity to help and support us when we need them, to be able to react correctly to criticism, however unpleasant it might be ...

How to cope with anger: in order to manage anger and better control it, it is important to be able to correctly interpret the information surrounding us, to be able to listen to other people, act under various circumstances, accept criticism and not allow frustration to master us. In addition, you need to be careful with the unjustified accusations against others. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

7. How to restrain anger if the cause is another person

Often our anger is provoked not by events, but by people. Avoid toxic people!

In this case, it is recommended to move away from such a person until you cool down, if you feel that the situation is heating up. Remember that by hurting others, you primarily cause it to yourself, and this is exactly what needs to be avoided.

How to cope with anger: Express your displeasure quietly and calmly. Convincingly not the one who shouts louder, but the one who is able to express his feelings adequately, calmly and convincingly, identifying problems and possible solutions. It is very important to behave like an adult and be able to listen to the opinion of another person and even find a compromise (whenever possible).

8. Exercise will help you “reset” negative energy and get rid of bad thoughts.

When we move or engage in some kind of physical activity, we thereby release endorphins, which help to calm down. This is another way to control anger.

How to control anger: Move, do any exercises ... Get down and climb the stairs, arrange the house cleaning, go outside to run, take a bike and ride around the city ... anything that one way or another can increase adrenaline.

There are people who, in a fit of anger, begin to rush and pummel what will fall under their arm. If you have an overwhelming desire to hit something in order to quickly dump energy, try to get a punching bag or something similar.

9. A good way to “let go of your thoughts” is a letter.

It would seem that, How can you start recording something? Especially if you just had a serious fight with your beloved one or your beloved one?

How to cope with anger: at the moment of anger, our thoughts are chaotic, and we are not able to concentrate on a situation that annoys us. Maybe, keeping a diary will help you understand what makes you angry the most, how exactly you feel it, in what situations you are most vulnerable, how you should and how not to act in response, how you felt after ... As time passes, you will be able to compare your experiences and memories in order to understand what is common between all these events.

Example: “I can't do this anymore. I just quarreled with my boyfriend, because I can't stand it when he calls me bad manners. Now I feel very bad, because I screamed at him and slammed the door, leaving the room. I am ashamed of my behavior. ” In this particular case, the girl, having read her record, will understand that she reacts incorrectly every time she is called “ill-mannered,” and eventually learns not to respond to this with anger and violence, because later she regrets her behavior, she is ashamed.

You can even encourage yourself or give yourself advice that can be helpful and reassuring. For example: “If I take a deep breath and count to 10, I will calm down and look at the situation differently,”“I know that I can control myself”, “I am strong, I highly appreciate myself and will not do what I regret later”.

You can also splash out your energy by drawing, solving puzzles and crosswords, etc.

10. Laugh!

Is there a better way to relieve tension and lift your mood than a good portion of laughter? It is true that when we are angry, we want to laugh the least. At this moment we think that the whole world and all the people in it are opposed to us (which is far from reality).

How to cope with anger: although it is not easy, but still problems look different if you treat them with humor, positive. Therefore, laugh as much as possible and absolutely over everything that comes to mind! As soon as you calm down, look at the situation from the other side. Imagine the person you were angry with in some funny or funny situation, remember the last time you laughed together. So you will be much easier to cope with anger. Do not forget, laughter is very useful. Laugh at life!

11. If you think you have serious problems with controlling anger, contact a specialist.

Do not be afraid to admit your problems, do not feel weak because of this. The strongest people recognize what is happening to them and are not afraid to ask for help. You can share your feelings with someone from your loved ones - family, friends, your partner, etc.

If you substitute other emotions with anger, if you notice that anger spoils your life, that you are annoyed even by the most insignificant things, if you cannot hold back a cry or a desire to hit something when you are angry, if you are not able to keep yourself in your hands and no longer know what to do, how to act in certain situations, with people, etc. … aboutBrace for help to a specialist.

Dealing with anger: a psychologist specializing in this problem will study the problem. from the very beginning and determine how best to help you. He may suggest that you learn to control anger with certain behaviors (for example, by training social skills) and a technician (for example, relaxation techniques) so that you can cope with situations that annoy you. You can even attend group therapy lessons where you will meet people who are experiencing the same difficulties. This can help a lot, as you will find understanding and support among such people.

Summing up, I would like to note that we need to learn to control our emotions, especially anger. Remember that anger, in whatever form it may be expressed, physical or verbal, can never be an excuse for bad behavior towards others.

You already know that it is not the one who cries the loudest who dares the loudest, but the coward and the faint-hearted is not the one who is silent. Unreasonable words or stupid insults do not listen. Always remember that harming others, you harm, first of all, yourself.

Translation of Anna Inozemtseva

Psicóloga especializada en psicología clínica infanto-juvenil. En continua formación para ser psicóloga sanitaria y neuropsicóloga clínica. Apasionada de la neurociencia e investigación del cerebro humano. Miembro activo de diferentes asociaciones e esterada en labores humanitarias y emergencias. A Mairena le encanta escribir artículos que puedan ayudar o inspirar.
“Magia es creer en ti mismo”.

This post is also available in: Spanish

Psicóloga especializada en psicología clínica infanto-juvenil. En continua formación para ser psicóloga sanitaria y neuropsicóloga clínica. Apasionada de la neurociencia e investigación del cerebro humano. Miembro activo de diferentes asociaciones e esterada en labores humanitarias y emergencias. A Mairena le encanta escribir artículos que puedan ayudar o inspirar. "Magia es creer en ti mismo".

How to learn to control your anger

Control over your emotionsIt does not matter what it is, it is quite important. And anger control is a must. In anger, we can do so many terrible things that we would not have decided with a cool head. Hot temper always leaves problems, uncomfortable situations, feelings of guilt and other such unpleasant things. In the West, anger management is handled by specialized professionals.

But help professional not everyone needs. Many people can independently cope with excessive manifestations of their own aggression and control anger, not allowing it to burst into your life and arrange a mess in it. This is what we are trying to learn today.

First, find out from where taken our aggression. Scientists claim (and there is no reason to doubt their allegations) that the fear in our head is in the almond-shaped bodies, the two neural structures in the temporal lobes. After their removal, the experimental animals began to demonstrate a complete lack of a sense of fear and aggression.

Fear and aggression always are reaction to an external stimulus. A loud bang, a roar of a predator, a flash of light or something, and the fear mechanism starts. The blood rushes to his legs in order to run faster, because of which a person turns pale and his hands grow cold. If danger does not need to run, but to fight it, the brain begins to produce other hormones - aggressive ones that trigger a chain reaction in the body. All this, ultimately, splashes on others.

However, that of fear and aggression related roots, guessed even before the experiment. The wise know that the manifestation of aggression always shows weakness. And a person who is truly self-confident, calm as a deep river.

If you aggressive by nature, if quick temper has accompanied you throughout life, then your fault is not. This is an inherited, genetically transmitted quality. Unfortunately, in the modern world, unlike the wild world, this wonderful mechanism of aggression, which has saved your ancestors for thousands of years and allowed them to protect their territory, is like an elephant in a china shop. Everything only breaks around, but you get no benefit from it, only problems.
Therefore, you need to learn to take control of this reaction. In this case, there are two main approaches, you can focus on one of them or move in control of anger along both paths at once.

The first approach is physiological. Since the outbreaks of aggression are physiological, as we have already found out, the reaction, then we will calm down through physiology.
Try do a simple exercise: standing in front of a mirror, make the most angry face. Move eyebrows, squeeze cheekbones, look in your eyes with rage. Squeeze your fists and strain your back muscles and legs. After a few seconds, you will feel your upper lip begin to tremble without your every desire, and your nostrils begin to expand as you breathe. If you play really well, in a few minutes you will be furious. So do not forget to stop in time until you break the mirror.

it exercise we have done to ensure the effectiveness of the body on the mind. Our task will be training another state. States of peace and control over the situation. Imagine yourself as a man who remains unfazed in any situation. Look at yourself with a serene look, full of serenity. Practice a condescending smile with which you give your potential offender, straighten your palms and relax the muscles of your abdominals, your legs (just do not fall), your back. Stand still and breathe calmly.

Stand like that mirrors you need fifteen to twenty minutes a day, preferably in the morning, getting ready for work. Affirmations, short asserting phrases, will also be excellent. “I am a calm and discreet person, calm and wise. Aggression and anger are not peculiar to me. ” Repeat this every day, morning and evening.

Nextwhen you feel the blood pouring into your head and your heart pounding, developing adrenaline, take your “serenity posture” and repeat the memorized affirmation in your mind. Very soon you will feel the animal anger receding, obedient to your mind.

Second an approach is to change your own consciousness and understanding of the world. You need to realize and accept all the futility of aggressive behavior as such.
In the world a huge number of people, and our problems, such as competition for resources and the like, have long been solved by us not with a fight, but with more complex civilized ways.

However, this is partly understanding and so present in each of us. We are ashamed of our lack of restraint, it is customary to apologize for it, although several hundred years ago no one thought to apologize for it. It is time to take the next step on the evolutionary ladder and abandon the manifestation of aggression, as such.

If you get pleasure from her, the ring is always at your service, and another such person will be easy to find like-minded people, believe me. People of this type, prone to aggressive behavior, it is just necessary sometimes to fight well. But this must be done in a civilized manner, within the framework of the strained ropes, the precise rules of the sports match and with the full consent of your opponent.

- We recommend to visit our section with interesting materials on similar subjects. "Psychology of relationships"

A source:
How to learn to control your anger
Aggression is a consequence of the lack of argument or their lack in one or another matter. In this article we will discuss the management of anger and aggression.
http://meduniver.com/Medical/Psixology/upravlenie_gnevom_kak_kontrolirovat_agressiu.html

How to learn to cope with irritation and anger?

Posted on November 23, 2013. Posted in Character

In life, many situations that cause anger and irritation. The feeling of injustice, actions and actions that are contrary to our principles, rudeness, rudeness can cause a backlash - aggression. And if the mood is at zero, then even the little things are annoying. It is possible that your loved ones, who are waiting for your attention and care, accidentally fall under your hot hand, they are completely innocent, and they are the most dear people. Agree that this is unacceptable.

It is necessary to be able to restrain the emotions of anger, especially for service workers. Where the process of communication with a person is very important and the profit of the enterprise depends on the result of communication, successful promotion of a business is in a state of extreme irritation. And in any profession composure and cold mind are simply necessary. Imagine a situation when, while offering your services to an employer, you, blazing with anger, explain your conditions to him! Agree that there is no such employer who would like to connect themselves with relationships and obligations with an unrestrained employee. No one will want to decide the consequences of such behavior, and many have neither the time nor the desire.

You can learn how to manage your anger only if you can understand its cause and control your emotions. Having identified the cause of negative feelings, you need to send them in a different direction, that is, the problem must be discussed, and not hidden.

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