Fraudsters, psychologists, psychologists, astrologers or psychologists without a diploma - after listening to the horrors, parents often refuse to turn to psychologists for help, even when it is necessary. Or, on the contrary, they apply, but require the specialist to perform work that is not within his competence.
psychologist of the portal "I am a parent"
Who is a child psychologist and what does he do?
A psychologist is a person who has a higher psychological education. The psychologist is not a wizard, he cannot “do something for the child to obey,” but he can help parents identify the reasons for the child’s behavioral characteristics and, building on these reasons, develop a strategy for the behavior of the parents. The psychologist also cannot tell the client how to do better - it is not within the competence of the psychologist, but he can explain what consequences await the client when making a number of decisions.
In which case you need to contact a child psychologist?
You need to contact a psychologist when there is anxiety or anxiety. Better you will hear after the first consultation “everything is fine with you, the child develops within the age norm”, than start the problem so that it will be almost impossible to cope with it.
Any sudden change in the child’s behavior should cause anxiety - was sociable, became withdrawn, loved to walk, suddenly stopped leaving the house or vice versa. Usually, such sudden changes indicate that something is happening to the child, perhaps some traumatic event has occurred that needs to be worked out. The child’s psyche is quite malleable, which is why often children's psychotraumas are forced out into the unconscious, memory blocks this memory, but it begins to eat away from the inside of the child, creating problems in communication and behavior.
It is imperative to visit a psychologist in the event that the parents are aware of the traumatic event. Divorce, sexual abuse, bullying at school, participation in a lawsuit - all of these events, of course, create a lengthy stressful situation that cannot but affect the development of the child. To avoid such pathological manifestations as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), for example, the child needs help.
There is a stereotype that a psychologist should be contacted only if something bad has happened. In fact, in addition to rehabilitation work, there is a developmental, and preventive, and corrective. Proforientology psychologists help to identify propensities for certain professions, leading trainings can help reduce anxiety, increase self-esteem, teach a child to take responsibility or not be afraid of public speaking, road psychology experts will tell you how to teach your child safe road behavior.
Most psychologists can determine if a preschooler is ready to turn into a student, can advise parents on age-related issues - what kind of crisis the child is going through, how to help him at this age, what to do to make the crisis more painless.
What techniques do child psychologists use? The child will not sit on the couch and pour out the soul.
There are a huge number of methods, directions and techniques in which psychologists work. A competent psychologist is able to determine which method of work will be effective with a particular child - some are more likely to have group therapy, someone else - art therapy. Of course, experts select these techniques based on the age features of the client. So, for children, they often use techniques associated with games and creativity, and do not load babies with long tedious tests. If parents have an idea about the different methods of work of psychologists or have personal experience in applying to the psychological service, then they can independently choose a specialist who works in the approach that appeals to the client more. It is often necessary to look for a “own” psychologist, because in psychological work the client’s contact with a specialist is very important.
Every adult who became a parent once became them for the first time. So, a new role has emerged that cannot be learned theoretically. If you don’t know how to react to the child’s behavior, you’re worried about something, your baby’s words cause you concern, or you don’t know how to act in this situation - feel free to ask a specialist for help. A psychologist will help you cope with your feelings, and your child will develop as he should develop at this age.
The material was prepared for our publication by the I-Parent portal within our monthly heading.
10 reasons to take a child to a psychologist
Some consider it a lifesaver for any misunderstandings with the child. Others are sure that it is worth going to a psychologist only according to strict indications. Still others do not trust fashion specialists today. Who is right? And when is a psychologist needed after all?
A unhappy love for a girl of thirteen: she is thoughtful, melancholic, and has become worse to learn. “Go to the school psychologist,” the class teacher advises the mother. And she pulls the protesting daughter into the office with a shabby sign, and the next day the whole class buzzes that “Nadya, because of Dani, probably wanted to cut her veins, otherwise what did she bring to the psychologist?” they are not in a hurry to show the specialist, considering that the teacher is biased towards the boy.
Say, not all the children in the first grade should read and write. And the poor teacher cannot explain to mom and dad that Vladik is not in a position to sit for 30 minutes of a lesson: most likely, it’s about neurophysiological immaturity, and the sooner you start working with a child, the better.
Vitaly Matusevich, a child psychologist, answered the question stated in the title of the article: “If a child falls in love, even without reciprocity, this does not mean that he should be taken to Pavlova Hospital. But when at the same time he refuses to eat and skips school, it already requires intervention and qualified psychological, and possibly medical care! ”The specialist talks about the marker symptoms, the first consultation, methods for diagnosing disorders and the criteria for the effectiveness of therapy.
Pay attention to me!
If parents notice that their beloved offspring has seriously disrupted behavior, this is a direct reason for a psychologist to visit, says Vitaly Alexandrovich. Another question, what is included in the concept of "seriously violated"? Let's figure it out.
First, these are neurological manifestations: enuresis, encopresis ("bear disease"), sleep disturbance, tremor. Secondly, behavioral: fears, strong aggression (for example, because of a trifle, the child begins to crush the desks, pounces on his parents with fists), depression, despondency, isolation. Parents notice that a son or daughter suffers, but they don’t know why - and you need to figure it out. Moreover, a child can not always show his suffering, because the older the child, the more selective his reaction, the more he knows how to hide his feelings. From 9-10 years old at school and at home, a little man can behave differently. That is why it is important to listen to what they say about the behavior of the children of the teacher - among the teachers there are many sensitive specialists.
And if the student is cheerful and cheerful, and the teacher, as in the case of Vladik, insists that he does not accept the program? It must be remembered that each child has its own rhythm of development. It may not coincide with the requirements of the school system, that is, the kid, simply speaking, is not yet ready for school. However, to say what is behind this is an individual norm or neurological pathology, which needs correction, only a professional psychologist or a competent doctor can.
There are a lot of situations when specialist help is needed: adaptation in a new team, divorce of parents, loss of a loved one. But, again, it all depends on the reaction of the child. There are children who easily carry things, heavy even for an adult perception. And there are very sensitive, vulnerable kids, for whom an event that is not serious, in our opinion, (quarrel with a friend, breakdown of a favorite toy) can become a psychological trauma.
We are looking for a worthy specialist
How to find a good psychologist among hundreds of surnames, titles, regalia, which speak nothing to the uninitiated? The algorithm is simple. First of all, the one who calls himself a psychologist must have a basic higher psychological education. In addition, it should have a clear specialization that matches your query: alas, there are not so many talented people who can advise anyone on any issues you like. If the child does not speak, although he is supposed by age, it is worth looking for a defectologist or a correctional psychologist. If the son or daughter has fears - a psychotherapist who works with children. If parents divorce, we need a family psychologist or psychotherapist.
Experience, of course, is of great importance.
But ten years of experience sometimes means only one or two consultations per month at an enterprise, while two years of practice can accommodate intensive daily work with children. The same applies to all kinds of certificates: a real psychotherapist simply does not always have time to undergo various trainings. Certificates speak more about the managerial qualities of a person than about professional.
How to make sure that the specialist is worthy? “Already the first telephone conversation will let you feel whether you have found the person,” explains our consultant Vitaly Matusevich. - A good psychologist will not find out on the fly the details: if he is busy, he will ask to call back to give you enough time. What clarifying questions does he ask? How delicate? Can you trust him? After such a conversation, you yourself will understand whether you want to go to his reception. ”
The child, for example, became afraid to leave his room. At the first consultation, the psychologist is looking for the reason for this behavior: what caused the fear? He talks with the baby and with his parents. He collects anamnesis - that is, reconstructs the history of a young patient from the period of pregnancy of the mother: specifies whether he developed in a timely manner, was scared before, is interested in genealogy, studies the medical card. Determines the level of development of the child, evaluates his thinking, memory, emotional sphere.
After diagnosis, he puts forward his versions and gives parents specific recommendations: how to behave with the child, what psychological conditions to create at home, how to organize his mode and leisure, in order to eliminate neurological symptoms. That is, the first consultation should help at least outline the ways to solve the problem.
“When I first ask for help, I do not set out to encourage or intimidate my parents. The pragmatic task is to identify the problem, determine its scale and forecast, develop and implement a strategy to overcome it, ”says Vitaly Matusevich.
How long will now have to deal with a psychologist? Everything is very individual. Sometimes it happens that even one visit is enough: if the problem is not deep, and the parents are ready to follow the advice of a specialist. But it may turn out that going to the reception will take several months. “The development of spatial thinking, for example, can be practiced for a year: everything that concerns the formation of mental functions takes time,” explains the psychologist. - The more the child suffered, the longer he will recover the psyche. But in this matter, parental assistance is of paramount importance. ”
Even the best specialist is not able to help the child if the parents do not become allies of the psychologist. Moreover, the responsibility for the effectiveness of therapy can be safely divided into two. Children largely depend on their parents, for them the microclimate in the family is very important. And if mom and dad do not want to change their habitual patterns of behavior, then it’s pointless to expect the psychologist to wave a magic wand - and “fix” the disagreeable child. “Here is an example: the mother brings a teenage boy for a consultation and complains that he is aggressive, out of control, does not want to study, and fights at school,” says Vitaly Alexandrovich. - At the same time, she constantly pulls him away, humiliates him. I find out that at home the child happens to be beaten. I explain to my mother: until you stop humiliating your son, I can’t do anything. Alas, it is impossible to reach it. In such cases, it is necessary to refuse therapy. And the reverse episode: the parents were so imbued with my recommendations, they followed them so clearly that even an extramural consultation (I did not communicate with the boy) helped. ”
It often happens that the problems with the child are only a consequence of global misunderstandings in the family and the parents themselves need psychotherapy. That is to make a happy son or daughter, to allay children's anxiety will not work until mom and dad understand their relationship. It is good when they understand this and are ready to work - that’s what family psychologists need. It is sad if the little man becomes a lightning rod for dissatisfied with the life of mother and father.
Indeed, despite the diversity of modern psychological techniques (each specialist has his own set), the main condition for successful therapy is parental love - sincere, disinterested, generous and accepting. It happens that it can replace the therapy itself.
Text Victoria Vitrenko
VITALY MATUSEVICH, pathopsychologist, child psychologist, psychotherapist, Integration Community for Children and Parents, www.integration.com.ua
Telephones HOT LINES TRUST
- All-Ukrainian children's line "Helpline": 0-800-500-21-80.
- Hotline of the Ministry of Education and Science of Ukraine: (044) 279-35-74 (from 10.00 to 17.00).
- National Hotline on Violence and Children's Rights: 0-800-500-33-50.
- Helpline for children, adolescents and young people (anonymous and free): (044) 515-23-74 (from 9.00 to 21.00).
- Do not rush to make a child a hasty diagnosis, if your child’s behavior has changed dramatically. Perhaps the problem is not in him at all, but in you, your relationship with a partner, and the child serves as a “signal”.
- Feel free to take the child to a specialist. This does not mean that you could not cope yourself, it means that you care.
- The help of a psychologist is needed in cases: when we see dramatic changes in the child’s behavior, when we don’t control the situation and cannot influence the child’s behavior and when others are affected by his behavior.
- It is important to be able to hear and understand your child, to communicate with him as often as possible in order to avoid false alarms.
“I am constantly worried about my three-year-old daughter,” admits the 38-year-old Leo. - At one time she was biting in kindergarten, and I was afraid that she was asocial. When she spits broccoli, I already see her anorexic. My wife and our pediatrician always calm me down. But sometimes I think it’s still worth going to a psychologist with her. ”
Doubts torment 35-year-old Kristina, who is worried about her five-year-old son: “I see that our child is alarming. This is manifested in psychosomatics; now, for example, his hands and feet are peeling off. I tell myself that it will pass, that it is not for me to change it. But I am tormented by the thought that he suffers. ” What prevents her from going to a psychologist? “I’m afraid to hear that it’s my fault. And what if I open the Pandora's box and it gets worse ... I lost my bearings and I don’t know how to be. ”
Such confusion is characteristic of many parents. What to rely on, how to distinguish between what is due to stages of development (for example, problems of separation from parents), what speaks of small difficulties (nightmares), and what requires the intervention of a psychologist?
When we have lost a clear idea of the situation
The child may show signs of trouble or to cause trouble to relatives, but this does not always mean that the problem lies in it. There are often situations when a child “serves as a symptom” - this is how systemic family psychotherapists designate the family member who takes on the task of signaling family distress. “It can manifest itself in different forms,” says child psychologist Galia Nigmetzhanova. - For example, a child bites nails.
Or he has incomprehensible somatic problems: mild fever in the morning, cough. Or he behaves badly: fights, selects toys. In one way or another, he, depending on his age, temperament and other characteristics, tries - unconsciously, of course - to “glue” the relations of his parents, because he needs both of them. Excitement for a child can combine them. Let them quarrel for an hour because of him, the most important thing for him is that they were together for this hour. ” In this case, the child concentrates the problems in himself, but he also opens up ways to solve them.
Behind the same symptom can hide various problems, and parents themselves to understand them is quite difficult
Обращение к психологу позволяет лучше понять ситуацию и, в случае необходимости, начать семейную, супружескую, индивидуальную или детскую терапию. «Работа даже с одним взрослым может дать прекрасный результат, — говорит Галия Нигметжанова. — А когда начинаются позитивные изменения, на прием иногда приходит и второй родитель, у которого раньше «не было времени». After some time you ask: what about the child, does the nail bite? - No, everything was fine.
But we must remember that behind the same symptom may be different problems. Take an example: a five-year-old child hooligans every night before going to bed. This can speak about his personal problems: fear of the dark, difficulties in kindergarten. Maybe the child does not have enough attention, or, on the contrary, he wants to prevent their solitude, thus reacting to their desire.
Or perhaps it is a matter of contradictory attitudes: the mother insists that he lay down early, even if he did not have time to take a dip, and the father demands to perform a certain ritual at bedtime, and as a result the evening becomes explosive. To understand the reasons for the parents themselves is difficult. “I didn’t think that being a mother was so difficult,” admits Polina, 30,. - I want to be calm and gentle, but to be able to set boundaries. Being with my child, but not suppressing him ... I read a lot about parenting, I attend lectures, but I still don’t see beyond my own nose. ”
Often, parents drowning in a sea of conflicting advice feel lost. “Too informed, but poorly informed,” as described by their psychoanalyst and child psychiatrist Patrick Delaroche. What should we do with our anxiety for children? Galia Nigmetzhanova believes that going for a consultation to a psychologist explains why: “If an anxiety is heard in the soul of a parent, it will definitely affect his relationship with the child, and with the partner too. We need to figure out what its source is. It’s not necessarily the case of a child, perhaps it is nourished by dissatisfaction with marriage or your own childhood traumas. ”
When we stop understanding your child
“My son went to a psychotherapist from 11 to 13,” recalls the 40-year-old Svetlana. - At first I felt guilty: how is it that I pay a stranger for practicing my son ?! There was a feeling that I disclaim responsibility, that I am a useless mother. But what could I do if I stopped understanding my own child? Over time, I was able to abandon the claims to omnipotence. I am even proud that I was able to delegate authority. ”
Many of us are stopped by doubts: asking for help, it seems to us, means to sign that we are not coping with the role of the parent. “Imagine: a stone blocked our way and we are waiting for him to go somewhere,” says Galiya Nigmetzhanova. - Many people live like this, frozen, “not noticing” the problem, in expectation that it will resolve itself. But if we recognize that we have a “stone,” we can clear our way. ” We admit: yes, we do not cope, we do not understand the child. But why is this happening?
Parents no longer understand children when they are exhausted — so much so that they are no longer willing to listen to him, to endure his problems.
"Parents no longer understand children when they are exhausted." “So much so that they are no longer ready to open up something new in the child, listen to it, endure its problems,” says Galia Nigmetzhanova. - A specialist will help to see what caused fatigue and how to replenish their resources. The psychologist also acts as a translator, helping parents and children to hear each other. ”
In addition, a child may experience a “simple need to talk to someone outside the family, but in such a way that it is not a reproach to the parents, ”adds Patrick Delaroche. Therefore, do not pounce on the child with questions when he leaves the session. Eight-year-old Gleb, who has a twin brother, it is important that he is perceived as a separate person. This was understood by a 36-year-old Veronika, amazed at how quickly her son began to improve. At one time, Gleb was angry or sad, he was unhappy with everything - but after the first session her sweet, kind, crafty boy returned to her.
When others sound the alarm
Parents involved in their cares do not always notice that the child has become less cheerful, attentive, active. "It is worth listening if the teacher, the school nurse, the head teacher, the doctor beats the alarm ... There is no need to arrange a tragedy, but do not underestimate these signals," Patrick Delaroche warns. This is how Natalya first came to the reception with her four-year-old son: “The teacher said that he was crying all the time.
The psychologist helped me realize that after my divorce, we were closely connected to each other. It also turned out that he was not crying "all the time", but only in those weeks when he went to his father. " Of course, it is worth listening to the environment, but beware of hasty diagnoses made to the child. Ivan is still angry at the teacher, who called Jeanne hyperactive, "and all because the girl, you see, should sit in the corner, while the boys can run all over the place, and that's fine!".
Do not panic and do not stand in the pose, having heard a negative feedback about the child, and first of all calmly and friendly clarify all the details
Galiya Nigmetzhanova advises not to panic and not to get up in the pose, having heard a negative opinion about the child, and the first thing is to calmly and friendlyly clarify all the details. If, for example, a child in school had a fight, find out who the fight was with and what kind of child it was, who else was there, what were the general relations in the class. This will help to understand why your child acted this way and not otherwise. “Maybe he has difficulty in dealing with someone, or maybe he responded to bulling like that. Before taking action, you need to clarify the whole picture. ”
When we see dramatic changes
No friends or persecution, regardless of whether your child is being bullied or who is being bullied by others, it indicates relationship problems. If a teenager does not appreciate himself enough, is deprived of self-confidence, is too anxious, you need to pay attention to it. Moreover, a too obedient child with impeccable behavior can also be secretly unfavorable. It turns out that anything can be a reason for going to a psychologist? “No list will be exhaustive, so the expression of mental suffering is inconsistent. Moreover, children sometimes have some problems that are quickly replaced by others, ”notes Patrick Delaroche.
A short decline in school performance is common. And a child who has ceased to study at all, needs the help of a specialist.
So how to decide whether to go to the reception? Galiya Nigmetzhanova offers a short answer: “Parents in the child’s behavior should be alerted by what was not“ yesterday ”, and today there are, that is, any abrupt changes. For example, the girl has always been cheerful, and suddenly her mood has changed dramatically, she is naughty, makes hysterics. Or on the contrary, the child was non-conflict-and suddenly begins to fight with everyone. It doesn’t matter for the worse or for the better, it’s these changes, the main thing is that they are unexpected, unpredictable. ” "And let's not forget about enuresis, recurring nightmares ..." - adds Patrick Delaroche.
Another indicator - if the problems do not disappear. So, a short decline in school performance is common. And a child who has ceased to study at all, needs the help of a specialist. And of course, one must meet the child if he himself asks to see a specialist, which happens most often after 12-13 years. “Even if the parents are not bothered, going to the psychologist with the child is a good prevention,” Galia Nigmetzhanova sums up. “This is an important step towards improving the quality of life: a child and one’s own”.
As a rule, an appeal to a child psychologist begins with a phone call or message via the network. The caller talks about a problem that has arisen with the child, then they agree on a meeting time.
! Only parents (or another official guardian) should bring a child to a psychologist at the first meeting. It is desirable that both parents come.
! If the problem that is addressed to a child psychologist is that it is impossible to talk about it with a child (from the point of view of parents), then you can come to the first meeting with a psychologist without a child.
! Bring baby pictures if you have them.
! A meeting with a child psychologist is scheduled for a specific day and a specific time, for example, at 14.00. You need to arrive on time, at 14.00. No need to come earlier (5-15 minutes), because At this time, the psychologist is still undergoing the previous consultation. However, there is no need to be late, since the consultation time is not extended and will end exactly after 60 minutes, no matter how late the client is.
! If you change your mind or you cannot come for any reason, please call and notify the psychologist about the cancellation of the meeting no later than one day before the meeting. We can agree on postponing the consultation to another time or another day.
The purpose of the first meeting is acquaintance, the parents' presentation of the problem that concerns them, the conversation of the psychologist with the parents in the form of an interview - he is interested in the smallest details (history, character traits of the child, his individual characteristics, family environment, etc.). The child psychologist asks a lot of questions that seem to be irrelevant to the essence of the problem, but in fact they are very important, because a child's symptom (any problem that his parents address to a psychologist) does not appear by itself. A child psychologist will be interested in the history of the birth of a child, how pregnancy, childbirth, relations between parents, etc. took place. At the first consultation, a child psychologist monitors the child (how he behaves in the psychologist's office, how he plays, how actively he manifests himself, whether he is independent or constantly looks at his parents, with whom he prefers to sit next to each other and communicate). If the child feels fairly free and comes in contact with a child psychologist, the latter may suggest that he draw a picture on a free or given topic. So, at the first meeting with a child psychologist, an important stage in the work of a psychologist begins - diagnostic.
HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED A MEETING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM?
As a rule, consulting a child psychologist is not enough to solve a problem. However, already at the first meeting with a child psychologist, parents will receive some recommendations and answers to their questions. But, as I said, the symptoms (problems) are just the tip of the iceberg. The causes of the symptoms do not always lie on the surface. Therefore, a child psychologist can diagnose the condition of the child, his relationship with his parents. How does this happen? Parents or any other family member bring the child to a psychologist and leave him with him for 30-60 minutes. At this time, a child psychologist talks with the child, plays (if the child is small), offers special children's tests. Sometimes, to clarify certain circumstances, a separate meeting with a mother or both parents is required. As a rule, the diagnostic stage takes 1-2 meetings, including the first. The last diagnostic session is conducted with parents. At this meeting, I give my opinion, which includes the results of psychodiagnostics of the child and recommendations to parents. If what is happening to the child, in general, is clear, the causes of the problem are identified, it is clear how to eliminate them, and the parents are ready to follow my recommendations, then this can be finished.
But this is not always the case, because, as a rule, parents turn to child psychologists when “the limit has already come” and “has become unbearable”, when their own reserves have been exhausted, nothing happens, but there is a desire that the child quickly became normal (obedient, not nervous, had a good time at school, etc.), there is only one way out - psychotherapeutic work with the child. As a rule, this requires from 5 to 20 meetings (1-2 times a week with a child and 1-2 times a month with parents).
In more complex cases, when the symptom is present for a long time, it was formed under the influence of obvious negative factors or after a severe psychological trauma, as well as if there are neurotic or mental diseases, chronic diseases, long-term psychotherapeutic work with the child is required.
An extremely important condition for effective psychotherapeutic work with a child is the cooperation of parents with a child psychologist. For the success of psychotherapy requires a continuous, stable process. To do this, parents should regularly bring the child to a child psychologist (without a pass). And at meetings of the psychologist with their parents they receive recommendations, as well as information about the state of the child, about the dynamics of psychotherapeutic work.
ALL THE SAME: IS ONE CONSULTATION WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST POSSIBLE?
Yes, it is possible when his parents, grandparents and other relatives come with questions about themselves in their relationship with the child: how to behave in a given situation, what words to choose, how to help the child, how to support him, and also find out about the developmental norms and peculiarities of raising a child at a certain age.
WHAT DOES A PSYCHOLOGIST DO WITH A CHILD?
As a rule, I put emphasis in my work with the child on SAND AND GAME THERAPY. These methods are most suitable, both for establishing contact with the child, and for diagnosis and subsequent treatment of his problems. With the help of a psychologist in the game, the child "loses" and "replays" traumatic events and conflict situations. Learning to build new relationships.
Some more methods that I use:
Fairy tale therapy is a type of psychotherapy, which is based on a discussion with a child of fairy tales, stories with the aim of uncovering the deeper meaning of the events.
I read a fairy tale to my child, sometimes I suggest inventing my own fairy tale on a certain topic, drawing illustrations. I can offer to beat her in the sandbox. The creative process allows you to rebuild a conflict or a traumatic situation and find a new optimal solution.
Art therapy - this form of psychotherapy through drawing and modeling provides an outlet for internal conflicts and suppressed emotions, helps to understand one's own feelings and experiences, and also helps to relax and relieve tension.
"Adult" meeting with children from 11-12 years.
Tatyana Bednik, child psychologist
Options for false alarms are very different. For example, someone in the family had a child with autism. And it seems to parents that their child is also gesticulating, also tiptoeing — that is, they cling to external, inconsequential signs and begin to worry. Sometimes, mother and child do not match in temperament: she is calm, melancholic, and he is very mobile, active, and therefore it seems to her that something is wrong with him. Someone worries that the child is fighting over toys, although for a certain age this behavior is normal, and parents are afraid that he is growing aggressive.
Often problems are related to misunderstanding, what are the features of the child's age, how he is able to regulate their emotions. Now parents are focused on early development and often complain: if he could only run, he wouldn’t get him to listen to fairy tales. Or the child in the developing group does not want to sit at the table. And it says about a two or three year old child. Whereas even a five-year-old is difficult to maintain stillness. Another typical complaint: a small child is naughty, he has flashes of rage, he is tormented by fears. But at this age, the cerebral cortex, which is responsible for control, is not yet developed; it cannot cope with its emotions. The formation of the brain of a child depends on the environment, on the relations that he has with his close people.
Well, when the mother from the beginning She reacted to the manifestations of the child, saw what he feels: what sounds, touching him are pleasant, and what causes tension, fear ... She learns to read his signals, and he learns her. Sometimes parents do not know how to communicate with a child who has not yet spoken. But it is by communicating that we form these connections, this mutual understanding.
Often, parents refuse such trips, because the question arises, what will people say? For some reason, this moment worries many, the trip to the psychologist is associated with something shameful, our people are not accustomed to the fact that this is normal and absolutely not shameful.
The psychologist is not a psychiatrist, he does not write prescriptions and does not make diagnoses, he helps your child cope with problems, difficult situations without mental injury, everything takes place in such forms that, as a result, the child himself comes to the right decision.
And all the prejudices are better to eradicate and forget about their existence forever, the health and emotional state of your child is much more important.
Another moment, which at the subconscious level pushes parents away from going to the doctor, is the fear of being “bad” parents, realizing that they did something wrong in raising a baby.
Therefore, moms and dads begin to grab books, study psychology and try to solve the problem themselves. It is important to understand that all of us become parents for the first time, no one teaches us this and does not give private lessons, therefore it is normal to make mistakes. And if you manage to correct your mistakes, it will only benefit you and your child.
What problems can you contact a psychologist for children?
- If you began to notice that your baby is overgrown with fears and a feeling of constant anxiety: fear of the dark, heavy rain or wind, stay in the room alone, fear of animals, insects, then this is a signal. В определенном возрасте – это нормально, свидетельствует о развитии фантазии и воображения ребенка. Однако это чувство постоянного страха вызывает подавленность, влияет на активность и инициативу, ведет к тому, что ребенок начинает избегать определенных жизненных ситуаций, что уже нехорошо. Психолог сможет преодолеть этот период безболезненно для малыша и лишить постоянного дискомфорта родителей.
- If you begin to notice that you are losing control over your child, he obeys ever less, often falls into hysterics and does everything in his own way, whatever you tell him. It is necessary to cope with such impulses correctly, not to deprive the child of the opportunity to become a strong personality in the future, but at the same time not to lose that thin thread that keeps him on the verge of a reasonable one.
- Another fairly common problem is the feeling of shyness. So what, you say, well, the child can not just come and meet, make up when he grows up. Unfortunately, if a child avoids contact with his peers, does not try to find friends and does not try to protect himself in a conflict situation, then in the future something is unlikely to change, unless, of course, this is corrected in childhood. So that they do not speak there, but shyness and excessive shyness can be overcome.
- Aggressiveness. Practically every parent faces this problem, the child gets overly angry, can deliberately offend another child or hurt the animal, defiantly tear the head of the toy and say that it needs it. It is very important that this trait does not lie deep in the brain, preventing the formation of a normal and decent person. Advice from a child psychologist to parents will help overcome this period in the life of your child.
- Other situations. In fact, the psyche of children is vulnerable and very vulnerable, and if in life there are situations with which it is difficult for an adult to cope, the child can completely withdraw into herself, abandon the school, stop communicating with other people. Such situations include the death of a loved one, a serious illness of a child or someone from a family member, the emergence of a new family member, the first trip to school or garden, many reasons, and not every parent is able to find the right solution and provide relevant assistance. The psychologist will be able to determine the cause of the experiences, as well as find the right path for the child, who will help him, as less painlessly as possible, to survive what has happened.
Finding a child psychologist is not a problem now, they are in almost every kindergarten or school. This person with the help of special game forms, pictures, unobtrusive testing and conversations, will be able to give necessary recommendations to parents. If you are planning a trip to a psychologist, then do not delay, because children are developing very rapidly, and at some certain moment it may be too late.
When does a child need a psychologist?
The health of a child is not only his physical, but also his emotional state. A few years ago, parents disowned the need to appeal to psychologists, because “my baby is normal". Now comes the understanding that psychologist is not for psychos. This is a specialist who helps solve many problems. How to understand if your child needs a psychologist?
Why do you need a child psychologist?
- The psychologist should help restore the emotional well-being of the child.
- The psychologist knows the methods of exit from critical situations.
- The psychologist can advise parents on the upbringing of their child, watching and talking with him.
- Psychologist helps in matters of social adaptation.
- A psychologist can simply listen, talk, become a friend of your child.
When should I turn to a child psychologist?
- The child suffers from mood swings.
- The child is aggressive, often makes tantrums and does not recognize the authority of the parents.
- The child suffers from a nervous tic, enuresis, problems with falling asleep.
- The child can not get used to school, has problems with socialization.
- The child is worried about the divorce of parents.
- The child is experiencing the loss of a loved one or pet.
If you decide to go to a child psychologist, you should not only study the reviews of other parents, but also talk to the selected expert yourself to see if your child will be comfortable with him.
If the child has serious emotional or personal difficulties, psychotherapeutic work may be required. This can be classes on the removal of anxiety, fears, aggressive tendencies, as well as on increasing self-esteem. A game, a drawing, a fairy tale - all familiar and interesting for the child objects and activities become in the hands of a specialist a powerful means of help.
To solve the problem of a child, it is often enough for the parents to sort out the reasons themselves and change something in their behavior, in the situation surrounding the child. A competent consultation very often removes the need for special psychological work with the child himself.
A visit to a psychologist will help to deal with the objective situation, with the emotional state of the child, to identify the causes of difficulties. To do this, you do not need to wait for a critical situation, psychological prevention is no less important than medical.